JOIN IN THE DISCUSSION ON THIS EPISODE AND MORE IN MY FREE FACEBOOK GROUP, FIND YOUR FEMININE FIRE HERE.

Amanda Testa is a soulful, heart-centered expert when it comes to sex and relationships. She helps overwhelmed professional women and couples reconnect to themselves and their partners.

Her unique proven process, The Feminine Fire Method combines neuroscience and nervous system regulation, with ancient practices from Tantra and Taoism, to help women heal their relationship to their sexuality so they can eliminate shame and guilt, own their confidence, feel like a Goddess in their skin, and have the deeply connected relationships they desire.

• Find the resources mentioned in todays episode below:

  • Fire Up Your Desire Challenge Replays - www.amandatesta.com/junereplay

  • Feeling Supported When Life is Scary - https://www.amandatesta.com/leabettamandatesta/
    

  
  
  
  

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If you've been interested in learning more about coaching with Amanda, she's now booking coaching clients for 1-1 support in creating the relationship and orgasmic pleasure of their dreams.   If you’ve been thinking about it, maybe we should talk!  Link here to book a free call to see if we’re a fit. 

EPISODE 221: Pleasure as Power

[Fun, Empowering Music] 

Amanda Testa: Hello, and welcome to the Find Your Feminine Fire podcast. I am your host, Amanda Testa. I am a sex, love, and relationship coach, and in this podcast, my guests and I talk sex, love, and relationships, and everything that lights you up from the inside out. Welcome!

Hello, and welcome to  the Find Your Feminine Fire podcast. It’s your host, Amanda Testa, here. Today, I’m going to be talking about pleasure as power. I know for the past few weeks there’s been a lot going on -- and actually, it’s not just been the past few weeks, let’s be honest. It’s been a hell of a lot for a long, long time, and what I do know is I’m seeing a lot of people that are grieving, a lot of people that are confused, a lot of people that feel scared. A lot of my clients that are feeling just uncertainty, and one of the things that I wanted to talk about in this episode, to address that, is ways that you can move from feeling so overwhelmed to feeling more stable, more secure, more resourced in your nervous system, more able to find a place to safety in yourself.

0:01:06

I get it. This is not an easy practice, but it is doable, and so, what I know is that when we focus on what we want to happen, when we focus on kindness and openness and curiosity and possibility, so much can come from that, and when you're in a place of survival, it’s really hard to figure out what the next step is and how to come together in a community of support because, honestly, so much is in the world out there around just working on each individual’s own psyche, but it has to be a communal thing. We cannot heal in isolation. We have to do it as a community, and I think that’s one of the things that’s lacking in this day and age. People aren’t connected like they once were, so coming together, even with people that we don't agree with, is one of the ways that there can be potential in possibility.

0:01:55

So what I do know is in my own experience, my practices of pleasure, the things that I do to come back to my own body and my own being are transformational, right? I can be in the bed, crying, barely able to move forward, and I do a practice, and I’m able to transmute a lot of that, and to come out on the other side feeling hopeful, feeling inspired, feeling grounded, being able to move forward with my day, right? Because we all have to continue. Oftentimes, we don't have that luxury of just lying in the bed, moping around, right? We have lives and jobs and people to take care of and all the things. So the key is, is these practices I’ve found are just phenomenal. They're life-changing, and what I see if people don't often take the time to do the things that serve them, and there’s numerous reasons why, right? I get it. It’s not always easy, and it can be a privilege to be able to make time for the things that are important to you. However, when we can really look at our lives and prioritize what is most valuable and important, everything can shift, right? 

0:02:58

And so, for me, and I know what I’ve seen in all the women that I’ve worked with over the years is seeing when you can cultivate pleasure as a practice, it’s night and day. How people come into the work and how people leave on the other side, it’s night and day. What I do believe is that pleasure is medicine. Pleasure can be so healing for our nervous system. Pleasure can be activism. Pleasure can be power. Pleasure is knowledge. Pleasure is freedom. Pleasure is a healing balm. Pleasure is love. Pleasure is connection. Pleasure as connection, a sacred connection to the divine. Pleasure as liberation. Pleasure as creative expression. Pleasure as possibility. Pleasure as inspiration. Pleasure as respect. Pleasure as honoring. Pleasure as joy. Pleasure as resource, right? Pleasure as nourishment. What I see is when you can make time for these kinds of practices in your life, so much can shift, and where the work really comes in is making the time, dealing with all the things that come up in resistance, and holding yourself through those kinds of things. 

0:04:02

Sometimes, that’s where you often need help, and sometimes you might want community to do that with. So know that if this is something that is challenging for you, you're not alone, and, like I said, I’ve been seeing a lot of clients recently who are feeling really overwhelmed, really hopeless, and just feeling like a lot of the things that they took for granted, potentially, around what was important, thinking it was important to others, but it was not, feeling a lot of, maybe, betrayal. So when these things happen, that’s why it’s so important to find a way to come back to a place of resource, a place of feeling good in your own body and being. 

And so, as I know it can be so challenging in times like this to find that connect back to yourself, I’m gonna share with you right now a Simple Pleasure Practice that was part of the free Fire Up Your Desire Challenge that I just did. You can catch those replays at amandatesta.com/junereplay, and I will also put that in the show notes, so don't get overwhelmed. You can find that in the show notes. I’ll put everything that I’m gonna share here, all these resources around feeling supported when the world is crazy, I’ll put those in the show notes, and you can find all the show notes for this episode at amandatesta.com/portal.

0:05:20

So stay on this podcast and enjoy this pleasure practice. I will share the resources in the show notes for Feeling Supported When Life is Scary. That is a video series that I did with practices and tools to soothe your worried mind and to tune into some simple strategies to invite in more layers of support when the world feels in chaos. So these are really great nervous-system-regulating skills and tools that can just be healing and, really, so needed right now, I know. I get so much amazing feedback on these practices, that they are helping people reconnect to feeling okay in their bodies, finding ways to feel more safe and just inspired. And so, I will share all these with you, and enjoy this practice.

0:06:03

[Soulful Chorus Music Continues Under Dialogue]

Hello, and welcome to Day Three of the Fire Up Your Desire Challenge. I’ll invite you, just as you come to this session today, to create the intention of connecting to yourself, your feminine power, the goddess within you, the god-X within you, the life force, the divinity, the perfection that lies within you. Nothing can take that from you. Nothing can ever change that. You are whole. You are divine. You are beloved exactly as you are. Just let that possibility sink into your body, into your cells, into your bones, every fiber of your being is worthy, is valuable.

0:07:09

When challenges come up, the world seems chaotic and crazy. Coming home to yourself can be a resource, to remember who you are, what you're capable of. Nothing will stop you. Nothing can stop you. Letting your intentions be in alignment of the highest good of all, the highest good of all.

0:07:58

Potentially allowing your body, your being just to settle here, maybe noticing where your hands are drawn to go (if anywhere) on your body, feeling the weight of you in your chair, the perfection of you in this moment, exactly as you are. Maybe inviting in any gentle movement that might feel good, just creating that ring of support around you as we move into our ritual space today, creating that ring, feeling yourself supported and held in this space. This is just for you. Your most supported guides are welcome here. You get to choose what comes in and what stays out, and what do you want out of this space? Push it out. It is not welcome here.

0:09:12

And what do you want to invite in? Allowing that in. Allowing in what feels good, what feels nourishing for your soul, for your body, for your being now? What feels good in this moment? Saying yes to that and inviting it in. Anything else that helps you to feel supported and held, invite that in. [Deep breath in and out] Connecting to that original essence within you, that perfection, that blueprint of health, of aliveness, of goodness.

0:09:57

As we move in today, today is all around gentle pleasure, sensual pleasure, creating a space for you to connect to your own being, your own physical body because that is such a huge part. When we want to reconnect to our desire, we have to reconnect to our physical body. We have to learn how to be inside of our bodies. That is not always easy, but I’m gonna invite you now to just try on that possibility of being here in this vessel that is animated with your life force right now. Letting that be enough, knowing you are enough. Just inviting in the potential of whatever gentle pleasure your body wants to receive today. We’re gonna do just a sort of practice to connect to pleasure in whatever form feels right. Maybe it’s just simply listen to these beautiful voices, a beautiful chorus.

0:11:07

Maybe it’s just allowing that possibility of connecting to that blueprint of health that is available. Maybe, if it feels good to you, bringing your hands to your low belly, the energy there, or just bringing your awareness there. [Inhales and exhales] Taking some breaths into this space here. [Exhales] Letting the act of bringing in air feel good. [Exhales] With each breath, fresh energy, fresh aliveness fills your body, fills your being. [Exhales]

0:12:09

With each exhale, just allowing whatever wants to release to go. Whatever you no longer need to hold onto, allow it to [Exhales] exhale, leave your body. [Exhale] Breathing in what you desire and breathing out. [Inhales and exhales] 

[Music changes to a melodic, whimsical choral song]

Again, maybe connecting to your intention. Maybe it’s just a feel good now, to have a minute of presence with your body, with your being, with all of you. Holding your physical body, potentially, if that feels good to you. Sometimes it can feel good just to hold the frame of your body, pressing into your skin with whatever pressure feels right. 

0:13:02

Maybe you want a light touch. Maybe you want to gently touch your face. Maybe you want to gently bring your hands to your body. Maybe you just want to hold your hands across from each other. Maybe you just want to bring your awareness to your physical body. As you invite in touch, allowing your hands to be a gift, allowing your own touch to be a gift, a gift of acknowledgement, a gift of appreciation, a gift of love, a gift of pleasure, a gift of sensation.

0:14:09

And just being curious. How might your body want to be touched in this moment? How might you want to offer touch to yourself? Honoring whatever’s here now. If it feels okay to you, maybe bringing your attention to your heart space, breathing in and out of this space, your beautiful heart that beats for you, that pulses the life through your veins.

0:15:04

Noticing if it feels okay to offer some gratitude to your heart, some acknowledgement for all it does for you, the capacity that lies within your heart, the potential. Potentially feeling into anything you might want to bring into your beautiful, precious heart. Maybe if it feels good, inviting in a gentle massage of your chest, your breasts, and as you do, maybe massaging down on the outside, up on the inside, just being present with your body. 

[Music change to harmonious rhythmic song]

0:16:10

[Exhales] Maybe noticing, is there anything you want to release from your heart space? [Vocal exhale] Just allowing a gentle sound, a gentle movement if that feels right. [Vocal exhales] If it feels good, potentially, reversing that direction. Going up on the outside of your chest, down on the inside, up on the outside of your breasts, down on the inside.

0:17:05

[Exhale] Perhaps, inviting in a deeper breath. Bringing in all of those qualities you might want to bring into your heart space - compassion, kindness, love, whatever feels right. [Exhale] It’s okay for whatever to be here, to be here. If there’s any emotion, just allowing being with it. Everything is welcome. Your beautiful being can hold whatever is here.

0:17:57

Potentially, if needed, call into those supports that are here with you, those loving, protective supports that want you to thrive, that want you to be fully thriving, fully supported, fully loved, and knowing that. [Exhale] Again, potentially bringing your awareness, your breath, to your low belly as if you can breathe in and out of this space. 

0:18:59

Again, if you are able to or want to bring in more of a connected breath, you can do so. If you have any health conditions, just continue to breathe normally, but if you want to, invite in a connected breath (that’s breathing in and out without a break between the inhale and the exhale). [Exhale] Breathing in and out as if your lower belly can breathe. Inviting in that fresh aliveness, that fresh life, that gift of life force into your low belly, into your being, into you. [Exhale] Letting it fill you with your potential, with your worthiness, with the perfection of you in this moment exactly as you are. 

0:20:04

You are enough. You are wanted. You are worthy. You belong. Letting the parts of you that believe those words, to let them land. If it feels challenging, that’s okay too. You matter. Your needs matter. You are important. Maybe even repeating after me: “I am here. I am here. I am now. I am now. I matter. My needs matter. My wants matter. 

0:21:00

My desires matter. I matter. What I want is important. What I need is important.” [Exhale] Letting some fresh life, some fresh aliveness in on that truth. [Exhale] Again, potentially inviting in some gentle pleasure where that feels accessible. Touching your face, holding your body, maybe bringing one hand to your forehead, one hand to the back of your neck. Can your touch be a balm for you? Can your touch soothe? Can your touch offer pleasure, be a gift to you? Letting your hands remind you of your right to exist, to take up space, to have what you want, to feel good, to have pleasure. 

0:22:17

Try bringing your awareness, if it feels good, down to your perineum, to your root, to your genitals, letting some fresh breath, some aliveness enter the space in whatever way feels right. [Exhales] Connecting to the magic of you, the potential, the presence, the perfection of you in this moment. [Exhale] 

0:23:07

Breathing as if you could breathe in and out of your perineum, breathing in and out of your genitals as if you could breathe in and out of the space, allowing that aliveness to flow into your body.

[Music change to a rhythmic, vibey chant-like song]

[Exhale] On the exhale, allowing anything to release, allowing any sound, any movement, [Exhale] any emotion. [Exhale] Letting your body have a little shake if it needs. Inviting in your being to breathe in something good, something necessary, something needed. 

0:24:06

What might you say yes to? What might you want to breathe in? Again, letting your breath, letting your awareness travel from your perineum to your low belly. Letting your breath travel up through to your heart. Letting that breath come up to your throat. Letting that breath bring aliveness, bringing pleasure to your voice. [Exhale] Is there any sound that feels good to make? This gift of your voice to speak your needs, to speak up for what you want, to say yes, to say no - honoring your voice. 

0:25:11

Maybe even just noticing how it might feel to breathe in [Inhale] and hum on the exhale, [Humming exhales] letting that vibration travel through, offering some sensation, offering some aliveness, some breath, [exhale] some sensation, potentially some aliveness, some goodness and pleasure through your system. [Hums] Bringing your breath up from your throat now into your head, your brain, your pineal gland, your third eye, letting your breath, letting your attention, letting your awareness come to this place to wisdom, this place of awareness. [Exhale] 

0:26:33

Letting your breath shine light on your own wisdom, your own knowledge, trusting it, trusting your own self. [Exhale] Again, noticing if your hands want to move any specific way. Again, allowing a little freeform movement. Allowing yourself to be with whatever is here. You can hold it. You are capable of so much. You matter. You’re important. Ah, there is such power in you. Oh, my god, it’s so flipping gorgeous. Just know as you breathe and connect to that within you, that possibility becomes more and more real. 

0:27:25

As you awaken this within yourself, though, too, you inspire others, and now, more than ever, women in touch with their power is so needed, so key. Our pleasure is so needed, so key. Maybe noticing what does your body need in this moment? What can you offer yourself in this moment? [Exhale]

[Music change to a soothing, uplifting choral song]

0:28:15

Giving yourself just a moment here to just come to stillness. Just taking a moment to honor yourself and celebrate yourself for giving yourself this gift of being present in whatever way that looked like, trusting how it was meant to unfold today, celebrating yourself. You are enough. You are worthy. You matter.

0:29:02

You are divine. You are perfect exactly as you are. You are needed. 

Just taking three breaths here to close your practice. [Inhales and exhales] Offering yourself a little thank you. Thank you, thank you, thank you. 

0:30:15

Such a gift to be able to be able to connect to ourselves in this way. No matter what’s going on, this can be a place of resource, a place of refuge, a place of replenishment, of nourishment. [Exhale] Also, knowing if that doesn't feel the case for you now, it can. It is possible. If you want more support in that, I’m here for you to remind you that you have what you need within you.

0:31:05

And you are so loved. You are divine perfection. [Exhale] Thank you, thank you, thank you. [Vocal exhale] Wishing you a beautiful rest of your day or evening, wherever you are in the world. Thank you.

[Fun, Empowering Music]

0:32:10

Thank you so much for listening to the Find Your Feminine Fire podcast. This is your host, Amanda Testa, and if you have felt a calling while listening to this podcast to take this work to a deeper level, this is your golden invitation.

I invite you to reach out. You can contact me at amandatesta.com/activate, and we can have a heart-to-heart to discuss more about how this work can transform your life. You can also join us on Facebook in the Find Your Feminine Fire group, and if you’ve enjoyed this podcast, please share with your friends. 

Go to iTunes and give me a five-star rating and a rating and a raving review so I can connect with other amazing listeners like yourself.

Thank you so much for being a part of the community.

[Fun, Empowering Music]