With Amanda Testa

Do you ever feel like something is holding you back from fully experiencing pleasure, both in your relationships and within yourself? If you’ve ever caught yourself people-pleasing, holding back your true desires, or numbing out in intimate moments, you’re not alone. Many of us were taught to play the “Good Girl”—to be nice, agreeable, and put others’ needs first. But what if these habits are keeping you from the deep connection and powerful pleasure you crave?

In my latest episode of Find Your Feminine Fire, we’re diving deep into “Good Girl” conditioning and how it shows up in our lives and relationships. We’ll unpack why this conditioning runs so deep, how it impacts everything from our voice to our pleasure, and, most importantly, how you can begin to release it.

What Is “Good Girl” Conditioning?

Growing up, so many of us were taught to prioritize others’ comfort over our own needs. We learned to be quiet, compliant, and likable—essentially, to put everyone else’s needs first. But when we live by these ingrained rules, we lose connection with our authentic selves and our deepest desires. Instead of fully experiencing life, we play small, staying in “safe” patterns that block us from our full expression and joy.

How Does This Affect Our Pleasure?

When we’re living with Good Girl conditioning, we’re constantly scanning for how others perceive us, even in intimate settings. And guess what? The nervous system can’t fully relax and open to pleasure when it’s focused on maintaining control or keeping others happy. This can lead to the “freeze” response—feeling numb, disconnected, or unable to ask for what you want.

Imagine how much would change if you could let go of that need to please and connect with your authentic desires. Imagine giving yourself permission to experience pleasure, to express freely, and to finally feel safe in your own skin. That’s what we’re exploring in this episode, along with practical steps to help you get there.

What You’ll Learn in This Episode:

— The Real Cost of “Good Girl” Conditioning: Discover how these messages shape our lives and relationships and keep us in patterns of self-silencing and people-pleasing.

— How “Freeze” Blocks Your Pleasure: I’ll explain why many of us enter a “freeze” state in intimate moments and how this keeps us from fully engaging in the experiences we crave.

— Steps to Reclaim Your Power and Voice: From grounding exercises to opening up honest conversations with your partner, I’ll walk you through practical ways to start creating safety and connection.

— A Path to Authentic Intimacy: Releasing these old patterns opens the door to more fulfilling, connected, and joy-filled experiences—both within yourself and in your relationships.

GET THE TRANSCRIPT HERE

If you’re ready to let go of outdated habits, tune in to this episode and begin reclaiming the full, authentic expression of yourself. And if you’re ready to go even deeper, I’ve created something special for you!

Ready to Bury the “Good Girl” for Good?

I invite you to download my Good Girl Graveyard Ritual, a powerful (and fun!) ceremony designed to help you release the old habits holding you back from your true power. This is a chance to let go of people-pleasing, connect with your authentic desires, and start living life on your terms.

👉 Download the Good Girl Graveyard Ritual here

Take the first step toward reclaiming your pleasure and power. Listen to the episode, try the ritual, and discover what’s possible when you silence the “Good Girl” for good.

My name is Amanda Testa, and I'm a Sex, Love, and Relationship Expert + Trauma Resolution Guide.

My goal is to support you to heal your relationship to your sexuality so you can eliminate shame and guilt, own your sexy confidence, feel like a Goddess/Goddex in your skin, and have the deeply connected relationships you desire.

My unique proven process, The Feminine Fire Method™ combines the latest in neuroscience and somatic healing with ancient practices to facilitate rapid and lasting transformation. 
I'm also a Mama to a spunky 12 year old,  Wife to my sexy hubs, and lover of outdoor adventure and live music. 


I believe deep in my soul is that sexuality is the missing key in personal growth and development. 

I believe your sexuality and sexual energy fuels your creativity, confidence, and power. It is a vital part of your holistic health and vitality.

When we own our sexual power our pleasure and creativity flourishes.  Our confidence and body image soars.

Our relationships deepen.

And when you can connect to that power in yourself, it’s life-changing.

If you’ve been thinking about it, maybe we should talk! Click to book a free call to see if we’re a fit.

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