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Amanda Testa is a trusted healer, coach, and guide who’s served hundreds of clients over the years with masterful skills in coaching, pleasure embodiment, and somatic trauma resolution.

After thousands of hours of training in trauma informed sex and relationship coaching, tantric sex coaching, energy healing, somatic trauma resolution, breathwork, yoni egg coaching and more, she’s seen time and time again the magic and wisdom of our bodies.

We all have the ability to return to our blueprint of health, aliveness, pleasure and sovereignty, and you can too.

With her powerful, loving and gentle support her clients find their desire and pleasure again, find safety and bliss in their bodies, and remember they are enough just as they are.

Find out more about her new monthly Pleasure Membership HERE.

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EPISODE 253: Long Lost Friend


[Fun, Empowering Music]

Amanda Testa: Hello, and welcome to the Find Your Feminine Fire podcast. I am your host, Amanda Testa. I am a sex, love, and relationship coach, and in this podcast, my guests and I talk sex, love, and relationships, and everything that lights you up from the inside out. Welcome!

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Hey, what’s up? It’s Amanda! If you're enjoying this pod, and you know you are ready to say yes to more pleasure, and you are just wanting to know, “How the hell do I do it,” well, you are in luck because as of now, we have spots available in The Pleasure Foundation which is my pleasure membership where twice a month you get an amazing practice that teaches you how to tap into your body, to become more connected to yourself, and to learn the art of sacred self-care. So, if this is something you're interested in, go to www.amandatesta.com/tpf (as in The Pleasure Foundation) and we will see you there!

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1:00

Welcome to the Find Your Feminine Fire podcast! I’m your host, Amanda Testa, and you know that feeling when you see a friend that you haven't seen in forever, and you have that special connection, like once you’re in each other’s presence, it’s like no time has passed, and you pick up right where you left off. Oh, my gosh, I love that so much.

The other day, I was meeting up with my friend, and I haven't seen her in a couple of years because COVID and they moved and all kinds of things, but just a dear, dear friend, and I adore them so much. But, you know how it is. Life, family, COVID, all these things can really take their toll on your free time and the ability to connect with those you love. So, we met at a coffee shop, and I just remember when I saw her and her beaming, beautiful, glowing, smiling face, ah, it just lit up my own body and being, and I felt so happy to see her and just hug her. It was amazing to reconnect like no time has passed. You pick up right where you left off. I love that kind of thing.

2:00

I invite you just now even just to take a moment and just notice that feeling that you get when you see that long lost friend who you love, when you have that opportunity to just feel that joy radiate out of your heart. Ah, for me I just notice this warm tingling throughout my chest and in my arms, and I just get a huge smile on my face, and there’s actually a beautiful practice that I learned in the Taoist philosophy called The Inner Smile where you take that feeling (that smile) that you get in that type of situation, when you see your long lost friend for the first time, when you are just smiling at an adorable puppy or the most gorgeous sunset, right? You just take that smile, and you beam it to your entire body and being.

Maybe, if it resonates, take a moment and do that for yourself, and notice how you feel. What’s so beautiful about this is the same thing happens with your relationship to your body, to yourself, and to your pleasure. It’s the long lost friend who’s dying to see us.

2:58

The other day I woke up, and I had the worst headache. I’ve had a lot of neck pain lately. I’ve been in a bunch of car accidents in my life, and sometimes I get the neck pain that rears its ugly head, and it’s been intense lately, and I tell you, the past few weeks, thankfully, I feel the waves of the cosmos have shifted a little bit, but it was an intense few weeks there at the end of January. I had a lot of anxiety and my TMJ was acting up, all these kinds of things that give me the perfect storm of waking up with a headache. And some days it takes me a while to feel better. One of the things that really helps me is to use my pleasure as nourishment. Again, the past end of January was really hectic. It was busy getting back to work after the break. My kiddo was home for a while, sick, and I just launched my new pleasure program, The Pleasure Foundation, and getting everybody onboarded, getting that going, there was just so much happening, so many amazing things, but it’s just a lot.

So, when I had that headache, I just allowed myself time to nourish myself. And I invited in a luxurious practice where I allowed my pleasure to flow through my body, my being, my aura, and everything, and I don't often talk about the spiritual nature of this work, but there is such magic in your body.

4:09

When you can connect to it in a sacred way, and when I’m doing practices, when I’m teaching practices, there is just such an amazing experience that happens in my body where I just feel so supported and held in my pleasure by forces seen and unseen, and I’m able to celebrate that and hold others in that celebration energy around their pleasure, their connection to themselves. It’s phenomenal.

We celebrate our friends for promotions. We celebrate our friends for making a sale, for having a baby, for these big momentous things, and I truly believe we need to start celebrating each other more around all good things and all the pleasure in our life. Why shouldn't an amazing orgasm be celebrated just as much as you closed a big deal? Why shouldn't having an amazing connection with your partner be celebrated just as much as getting engaged? Why shouldn't an amazing orgasm be celebrated just as much as winning the lottery because it is winning the lottery. It’s a lottery with your body. What I was saying earlier, when you can come home to yourself, your body is so happy.

5:07

The other day when I did my practice, after that headache my body was so happy. It was like, “Hey, friend! I’m so happy to see you again! Ah, it’s so good to see you,” and she just lit up. My body, my being loves when I connect to it. When I connect to her and her wisdom and her energy and her playfulness and her raw power, and I can use that energy to flow through my system, to make myself feel better, to nourish my cells, to nourish my muscles, to relax my head, to relax my jaw, to relax my face, using my breath, using my intention, using the sacredness and the ritual of the practice, I emerge anew. I emerge grounded. I emerge inspired. I emerge joyful. I emerge a little sassy and naughty, and it feels great because our culture does not want us to celebrate our pleasure and our orgasm, especially in the middle of the day. But hey, I was home. My kid was sick downstairs watching a show. I took a bath, locked the door, and ah, it’s the best, right, that little bit of time for myself.

6:07

Granted, it’s not hours, right? Twenty minutes, but I know when I left that bathroom I emerged a different woman - such a present mother, so much more patient, so much more loving. Especially when you're dealing with a sick and grouchy kid, you really need that. Your pleasure is like magic. I think that’s when so many people practice it, they want to learn it, and they want to teach it to others because it’s that magical.

I’m gonna tell you a story about one of my clients who came to me after a divorce because they were looking to find more connection to themselves. They were in a relationship where their sexual needs weren't met. They were in a sexless marriage, and they didn't want to recreate those patterns. They wanted to be more open with communication in their partnership, and they wanted to feel better about their sexuality and heal some residual shame and trauma from the past. I’m truly magical at that type of work, and through our work together, that happened, and she says that, not only was she so surprised how much it changed in such a short amount of time, but also how it helped her in so many different areas of her life, specifically with her connection to her body, to her partner, to being able to say what she needs, to being able to have more open communication around the relationship and around sex that came from a more heart-centered place, to kind of release that sense of urgency and stress.

7:25

Again, these things can take time. Practice, practice. The more we do it, the more we can realize the things that used to cause us a lot of urgency aren't quite as urgent and, oftentimes, urgency can be a trauma response, right? When we can just realize it is not truly urgent, those things aren't quite as intense anymore. That’s when you can tell it’s working. That’s when you can tell it’s working!

For me, what happens is I realize when I’m not doing my personal practice, when I’m not taking care to nourish myself and my pleasure, I have a lot more anxiety because I haven't gotten as much time for myself. My husband’s been traveling a ton. It’s been a lot of solo parenting and busy-ness, and I realize when that happens and when I start to feel that anxiety, when I start to feel the stress, those are the alarm bells going off.

8:10

When I find myself grouchy, when I find myself impatient, it reminds me that, “Ope, alarm bells. Alarm bells. It’s time to slow down. Let’s do a little assessing. What’s working? What’s not? Where am I over-giving? Where do I need to put some boundaries up? Where do I need to take some time for myself?”

So, I would encourage you as you listen to this podcast, maybe tuning in and even just letting your body right now, just maybe giving some awareness to your body, your being. Maybe if it feels aligned to you, you can put your hand on your heart. Or maybe if you're driving or whatever, just bringing your awareness to your heart space, your chest, and maybe just taking a breath or two here in your chest, and maybe just saying, “Hi, old friend. It’s great to be with you. Thank you for all you do for me. Thank you, heart, for beating and pumping my blood through my body. Thank you, lungs, for breathing, for doing your thing. Thank you, blood, for flowing through and delivering oxygen to my cells and removing toxins and waste. Thank you, body, for all your miraculous systems that just function without me ever having to think about it. Thank you, body, thank you.”

9:13

Just notice how that feels. Your body shows up for you every single day, day in, day out. Every second your body is working for you. How does it feel just to give a little gratitude and be with your body and just thanking it? Maybe just caring for yourself a little bit, just giving yourself a little acknowledgement, and maybe just taking a minute as well to tune in. Maybe if you just zoom out a little bit. If you're looking at the big picture, the landscape of your current life this week, what are you doing to nourish yourself? Where do you need to say no? Where do you want to add in some time for more self-care? Where can you allow in more love and connection with those who mean the most to you? How can you just take a moment and remind yourself of what truly matters to you? Letting go of some of the shoulds, some of the to-dos, how might that feel? Just noticing any changes that pop into your mind, any little thing, any action step you might want to take.

10:08

Allowing yourself to maybe make a little note about that mentally, on a piece of paper or just in your mind. And just from a place of listening to yourself, acknowledging that you matter, your needs matter, your body, your being is your old friend. It wants you to come home. It wants you to reconnect.

If you need some help in this area, The Pleasure Foundation membership, this is just the spot for you to tune in just twice a month to nourish your body, to celebrate your pleasure, to be seen and celebrated in taking time for your own sensual self-care. You can find out more at www.amandatesta.com/tpf (as in The Pleasure Foundation) and join us! It is only $44 a month for founding members for a limited time. Ah, I would just love to be with you there and invite you into this amazing practice.

11:01

Your body, your being is here for you. It’s waiting. So, just taking a moment again and just thanking it for all it does. Sending you so much love and wishing you a beautiful week ahead!

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Thank you so much for listening to the Find Your Feminine Fire podcast! If you loved this episode, please go ahead and forward it right now to someone who you know would love it, and if you’ve not yet had a chance to leave us a rave review on Apple Podcasts, please make sure you rate and review if you enjoyed the podcast as well as make sure to subscribe so you never miss an episode. Thanks for listening, and we’ll see you next week!

[Fun, Empowering Music]