Maybe you can resonate with the following:

– You want a more passionate relationship, but you have no sexual desire and frankly the only thing you want to do when you get into bed is SLEEP.
– You’re so passionate about your business, but as a busy entrepreneur, you know your relationships are suffering as you don’t have much left for them at the end of the day.
– You want to feel more confident in your post-kids body.
– You want more energy but instead, feel exhausted.
– You have intentions to take care of yourself, but the “to-do” list is too long and you often find yourself at the very bottom.
– You’re working out and doing all the “right” things for yourself, but still feel something big is missing.

Frankly… you’re burned out.

Today I want to share 5 tips to go from burned out to reigniting your Feminine Fire.

I’m Amanda Testa, and I’m a Sexual Empowerment Expert and founder of Find Your Feminine Fire. I help overwhelmed women reconnect to their sexuality with simple Tantric techniques they can use to feel luscious in their bodies, feel more pleasure, take sex from a to do to something they look forward to, and to have more support and playfulness in their intimate relationships.

What is your Feminine Fire?

It’s the powerful energy that lives within us as women. It can be dulled thru everyday life, but the good news is that you can reignite this fire! You can tell when you see a woman who’s fire is turned on vs turned off.

Some call this energy Shakti. Anything that has Shakti is alive, luminous and desirable…magnetic.
Shakti is the essence of vibrant health, feeling good in your own skin and feeling that your life has meaning and value.
How do we lose this? Well.. our modern everyday life sucks the energy and life from us. From the way we eat, the way we rush around, the way we numb out to destress, the stress of caring for kids, this is all killing our energy.

So what to do?

1. The first step in re-igniting this fire is focusing on what you desire.

How to do this? This is a huge question sometimes! Many of us don’t even know what we really want. My advice is to take out a paper and pen, and set a timer for 10 minutes. Start jotting down everything that comes to mind. I want a cup of coffee. I want a good nights sleep. I want to go on a trip to Italy. Just let it flow. Don’t censor yourself. Towards the end of the exercise, you will probably get to some deeper desires. Here is a PDF you can use to walk thru this exercise in more detail.

Keeping a pulse on our desires is critically important. We need to know what we want, and make things happen to bring those desires to life. Take that list, and is there something easy and doable you can make happen? Make it happen this week! I try and do this every few weeks, because by keeping a pulse on what I desire, I’m able to access am I taking care of my needs? What do I want? How can I get it? What’s the block, etc.

2. Activate your sensuality.

Get in touch with your senses again! This is the basis of sensuality.
Activating all of your senses on a regular basis, finding the joy and pleasure in all the experiences and sensations will start to awaken you again. How do you activate your sensuality?

Create a 5 senses ritual. Gather some things you enjoy for each sense, maybe some strawberries for taste, some delicious music you love, a soft blanket or some silky lingerie, a mirror, some essential oils or flowers for scent. Here’s a great video describing this in more detail.

Spend a few minutes on each sense – take a few minutes to really savor the strawberries or chocolate, feel the food on your lips, the texture, the flavor, the smell. Just enjoy each sense for a few minutes.
You can also do this when you are enjoying your meals, your shower, anything where you can stop, drop into your body, and connect with each sensation.

For example, recently I was at the beach on vacation, and really wanted to enjoy my experience to the fullest. I really took the time to feel the sun and breeze on my skin, to listen to the birds, the wind, the ocean waves, the kids playing, to see the beautiful horizon, all the people, the birds, the dunes, and letting the taste of the sea spray, and sweat on my lips sink in. Really enjoying everything about the moment.
You can really do this in every area of your life.

3. Getting in touch with your body is KEY!

Enjoying the gift of life through the experience of our bodies.
We spend so much time in our heads…making decisions, planning, the endless to do list, there is always so much going on in our minds. Dropping down into our bodies is so powerful in activating our feminine fire.

How else can we do this? By spending time feeling our bodies. One tip is to spend a few minutes every day doing a body meditation. What is that? Lie comfortably for a few moments. Start to tune into the sensations in your body. Say them aloud. I feel a tickle on my right wrist. I fell a bubbly sensation in my belly. ETC. you can fine tune this even more by focusing only on the pelvic area. The more you do this, the more you will connect with your sensations. Its so powerful. you can also bring this in when you are experiencing emotions.

4. Start a love affair with yourself.

Write love letters, become aware of the voice inside. Choose to find the empowered part of you. Where does that part of you live in your body? How can you connect with that part on a regular basis? Breath work and intentionally feeling that empowerment is a powerful component in this process. The more you strengthen this powerful part of you, the more you will be able to accept the other parts of you. Not shutting them down, but allowing them their voice, and choosing to let the empowered part of you run the show. The others can sit in the back, but they can’t touch the radio so to speak. Speak and act lovingly to yourself. When you shower, how you put on lotion, dress, all matters. Instead of slapping on the lotion and rushing thru the shower, really take the time to shower your body with gratitude and love. Treat your body with love and care.

5. Give yourself permission to FEEL. All feelings are ok. All sensations are ok. The more you can fully embody those sensations, the more you can choose how to react. Our culture has really taught us to only display “good” emotions. But they are ALL so important. When you get angry give yourself space to RAGE. When you are sad, give yourself space to CRY. The more you allow and experience all emotions fully, the more powerfully too you experience Joy, love, compassion.

These practices flow into harmonious relationships so beautifully, because if you are taking the time to care for yourself, and taking responsibility to get your needs met, you aren’t expecting all this from your partner. By receiving this love from yourself, you are better able to receive love from your partner. To appreciate them and what they bring to your life.

Try starting with one of these… and see how you feel. Are you more connected to yourself? Feeling more powerful?

Hope you enjoy!

• Doctorate in Ayurvedic Medicine (AUCM)
• Bachelor of Science in Kinesiology (University of Michigan, Ann Arbor)
• Bachelor of Arts in Sports, Management & Communication (University of Michigan)
• Certified Kundalini Yoga Instructor
• DONA-trained Doula

 

 

 

 

 

or listen on Itunes or Stitcher.

or listen on Itunes or Stitcher.

Listen in to this podcast episode as we dive into what freedom in pleasure means, passionate monogamy and the true key to keeping the spark alive in monogamous relationships, why our conversations about self-love need to be expanded in both directions & what that looks like, sex toys and more!

Kait Scalisi, MPH is a sex educator and the founder of Passion by Kait, an award-winning resource for women and couples who crave a sex life that’s as intimate, exciting, and fulfilling as the rest of their relationship.

Kait’s affirming writing, workshops, and one-on-one counseling help you create a new level of openness and intimacy with your partner—without feeling awkward, twisting yourself into a pretzel, or spending hours a day on intimacy-building activities.  

Learn more + find #freedominpleasure at PassionbyKait.com or @PassionbyKait on Instagram, Twitter, and Facebook.

You can also find the context exercise we were discussing in Emily Nagoski’s book “Come As you Are”.

Thank you for listening!  If you enjoyed this podcast, please subscribe, leave a rave review and share with your friends!

Please join in the discussion on this episode and more in my free Facebook Group, Find Your Feminine Fire HERE.

 

or listen on itunes or stitcher.