In this episode Kit Murray Maloney and I discuss censorship, releasing taboo around women’s sexual pleasure, the power of sisterhood, leading from a place of feminine power, vulnerability, and more.

For the last two decades Kit has been an activist, academic, and entrepreneur committed to channeling her passion for gender equity into a celebration of women s sexual pleasure. She s earned a Masters degree in Gender and Social Policy from the London School of Economics; has been featured in Marie Claire and Glamour magazines, and is a regular contributor to The Huffington Post.

She launched her multi-media site O’actually to create a more open dialogue around the existing taboo and yet ultimate importance of women s self pleasure and to promote creative, beautiful, and HOT erotic works made by women for women. Because genuine female orgasms heal and better the world.

You can find her at www.oactually.com

And stay tuned for her podcast episode 12.12 as she gives her censored TedX talk on Season 2 of Pleasure with O’Actually.

You can join in her “O’actually Pleasure Pledgers” group on FB here.

Join into the discussion with Amanda in her amazing community on Facebook HERE.

  or listen via Itunes or Stitcher.

OR WATCH our Live interview ON YOUTUBE

In this first episode of Find Your Feminine Fire, listen in as Rachel Sizemore and I talk about what led me to create this podcast, and the purpose of this podcast.  Hear my story and how finding your Feminine Fire can truly transform your life.

Want to continue this conversation. Join my amazing community on FaceBook

 

or listen via Stitcher or Itunes

 

There is so much talk about self love out there. But what does it really mean?

 

For me, it means to truly and deeply accept and appreciate all the parts of yourself.. physically, mentally, emotionally, sexually. 

Wow. Sounds big. To truly love all those parts.

But… it’s possible.   Yes, it may be a journey, but it IS possible.

Maybe at first its really really HARD. It may be hard to look into the mirror and like what you see.   But over time, if you commit to acceptance… it will change.

Many of us didn’t get a lot of validation when we were little, so we have to go in and rewire that voice inside. Instead of hearing the ugly mean voice, we can allow it to have its say, but then choose to listen to the voice inside that WE create. The voice that IS loving, accepting, kind, and empowering.

Creating a consciously loving internal ecosystem is a step by step process to recognize that safety, love and belonging will still be intact even if you love yourself fully.  It takes time.  Here are some simple steps to get started.

Notice your thoughts…when they are mean or unkind, try and say the opposite to yourself and see how that feels. For example, you may put on a shirt, and the voice says… you look fat in that shirt. You can say thanks, but I feel great in this shirt and know I look good.   Start to pivot those thoughts when they arise and see how you feel.

Where may this empowered part of you live in your body? For me it’s in my upper back. I visualize it as these gorgeous, powerful wings that can wrap around me and comfort me and hold me in love and acceptance.  

Take a moment to feel into your body. Close your eyes. Take 5 deep breaths in and out.   Now start to notice the sensations in your body. Ask yourself out loud, where does the empowered part of me live?   Notice if you feel any response. Maybe you don’t at first, but maybe you feel a twinge somewhere.. a warmth, a swirling, a twitch… just listen to your body for a moment.

Now really focus in on this area. What do you notice about the sensation? Can you describe it out loud? Does it have any words of wisdom for you?   What is one kind thing you can do for yourself in this moment?

Do that thing.

Keep tuning in and keep doing that thing, and over time you will start to notice the relationship you have with yourself start to change.

Let me know how this practice goes for you, I look forward to hearing where your empowered part lives!

You may also enjoy this guided visualization I created on self love.   Tune in HERE and in 15 minutes you will feel more at peace with yourself.

 

 

The Power of Sisterhood…

I was leading one of my Find Your Feminine Fire group sessions this morning, and we had such a great discussion around sisterhood. 

We pulled a card from my moon deck and it was all about shining by lifting others up.  How when we allow other women to shine, it is a reflection of our own beauty and potential.

I would invite you to consider your inner dialogue as well around this.  How is your inner voice?  How do you talk to yourself?  Is it harsh? Loving? Compassionate? Judgemental?

The more you can accept and integrate all the aspects of yourself, (even the parts you don’t love- you can accept them) the more you can love and accept others.

Notice when you feel comparison or jealousy around another woman.   Can you dig deeper here?  Is it that you are rejecting a part of yourself?   Are you feeling poorly about yourself in that moment?    Usually for me when I feel jealous it is because I am not feeling enough in that moment.

What do I do?  I ask myself what do I need to feel more belonging within myself.  Do I need to spend some time nurturing myself?    Is this really about me?  And I look for gratitude within myself – what can I appreciate about myself in this moment?

I know this may sound a bit “woo” but I also like to think we are all connected.  So if my sister has something, there is also a part of me that has the same thing.  So knowing I too have that beauty, or that capability, or that potential.

When we spend time with other women, it boots the feel good hormone oxytocin, that builds trust and connection.  We are wired as women to connect and this modern day makes it more difficult to get that in person connection.  So make the time to connect with other women.  We are wired for connection.

Can you think of a woman you admire?  A woman who means a lot to you? 

I invite you to compliment a woman in your life, either in person, or via a note or a text , and let them know what you love and appreciate about them.  Do this without expectation, but simply with the desire to lift another woman up.  

Enjoy!

xoxo

Amanda

#me too

Whatever your opinion or experience on the matter is, I wanted to share my 2 cents around the issue. If you are not familiar with this hashtag and social media trend, it was in response to a tweet Alyssa Milano wrote,

 “Me too… If all the women who have been sexually harassed or assaulted wrote ‘Me too’ as a status, we might give people a sense of the magnitude of the problem. Please copy/paste.” 

Although I’m not sure social media is the best way to talk about these things, I do value that these conversations are being brought to the forefront more and more. 

But why do they have to be?  Doesn’t society KNOW by now WTF is going on?  

Harassment is not ok. Violence is not ok.  It is so sad to see the flood of #metoos in my feed.  And I know its not just women who are affected.  

This is one of the reasons I’m doing this work around sexuality.  I truly feel if people were able to safely express their desires there would be less of this shadow.  The harassment, violence, etc.

I too have my share of  “me too” experiences. 

From the dentist when I was 7, to being flashed walking home from school in middle school, to inappropriate comments being made to me by drunk men driving me home from babysitting their kids, to being raped in college, to having my No being ignored, to being harassed at a job by a coworker every night at closing.

I don’t have the answers, but I do believe that being vulnerable and talking about this can help.   I also believe in teaching body safety, proper terms for anatomy, and lessons around consent from day one.

To allowing our boys to be boys in many ways, and not have to constantly fight to prove their masculinity.  (on a side note there is a great documentary I recommend “The Mask You Live In” around how our culture harms boys.

In the words of my beautiful friend Caroline Diaco..”Let us allow this to unite us and not divide. To begin to heal. I celebrate a man who posted #idid on his status. For every woman who posts #metoo, there is a man who needs to apologize, to her, to himself, to be forgiven – collectively. We’ve all been deeply negatively conditioned around this beautiful sexual system of ours that is meant to be understood and engaged as holistically as eating, sleeping and exercising. I invite a safe, compassionate, positive conversation for men as well.”

Let’s keep the conversation going.  You can also check out my video about this HERE.

Thanks Audrey Michel for hosting me on Rewired Life Radio this week!
Tune in as we discuss what it means to Find Your Feminine Fire, and how sexuality is a missing piece in personal growth and development.

 

Well yesterday one of my of my YouTube videos got a strike. It didn’t violate any of their policies, but someone didn’t like what I was saying so was trying to get it taken down.

Yes, I get hate comments and mean things sent to me because of my work.