Worthiness, Sex, and Money with Marie Magdalena Wolf

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Marie Magdalena Wolf is a certified trauma informed Sacred Sexuality and Relationship coach. 

Her journey to heal her own sexual trauma and experiencing better sex in her relationship led her to a life changing energy and spiritual awakening.

She remembered Sacred Sexuality as her purpose.

She is now guiding women, men and couples back to their orgasmic pleasure, truth and power so that they create fulfilling intimacy and healthy exciting relationships, along with expanding their consciousness to new realms of love and possibilities.

She offers private coaching, group courses and live workshops and retreats.

To learn more about her upcoming offerings, you can connect with her here.  Join her free FB group, here.

Follow her on insta here.

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If you are feeling it is HIGH TIME for more pleasure and satisfaction in your life, Schedule a confidential heart to heart connection call with Amanda HERE.

TRANSCRIPT

Amanda Testa (00:02):

Hello, and welcome to the Find Your Feminine Fire podcast. I am your host, Amanda Testa. I am a sex love and relationship coach, and in this podcast, my guests and I talk sex love and relationships and everything that lights you up from the inside out. Welcome.

Hello, and welcome to the podcast. Are you wanting to enjoy more money and better sex? If you are looking for more pleasure, passion and money than tune in as on this week's podcast episode. I’m talking with my dear friend and colleague Marie Magdalena Wolf on what it takes to really receive all that you desire. Uh, Marie is a certified trauma informed, sacred sexuality and relationship coach. And I am so excited to be here with you today. Yes, we, we actually met back in probably 2016. Yeah. And when we both embarked on this journey of one of the certifications we had done together, and I just love, love Marie. We were pussy posse sisters, and now it's just been fun to watch how everything has blossomed and growing. It's so interesting. This, we were talking the other day about how connected, you know, sex and money are. And so welcome, Marie. I'm so excited to have you. Thank you for being here.

Marie Magdalena Wolf (01:11):

Thank you so much for having me. I love you so much. It's so good to be on this journey with you. Yes.

Amanda Testa (01:18):

And I would love if you wouldn't just mind sharing a little, a little bit of your story and why you're so passionate about out this work.

Marie Magdalena Wolf (01:24):

Yeah. So it's crazy, right. I feel like between the time that we met and today, so much transformation has happened like internally and externally. And so what led me to start this journey was my personal desire to heal sexual trauma. I didn't even realize that I had sexual trauma actually before get on the journey and just have a better relationship with my ex-husband. And I was so committed to feeling the fulfillment in the bedroom, feeling the sexual pleasure and the aliveness I knew was somewhere. And I didn't know where to find that like a lot of people. And so I started to look around and then I found a certification and I found beautiful tribe of people you included. And it started. So it was really first and foremost, a personal desire.

Amanda Testa (02:11):

Yes. And I think that there's so many, you know, people that I talk to that can relate to that really wanting the sexual satisfaction and pleasure in the relationship, which is a very important part. You know, oftentimes people, I think put it on the back burner, but truly it's a huge part of feeling fulfilled in your partnerships and your relationships. And I mean, and I can relate to, you know, back in my twenties when I was in a very unfulfilling relationship for a long time and just how that was such a lack. Right. And you find ways to maybe push it down or numb it out or be like, everything's fine, but it's truly an important part. I I'd love for you to share a little bit more about that.

Marie Magdalena Wolf (02:50):

Yeah, you're so right. And it's so important for people to hear it and not wanna hear it once, but hear it over and over and over again, through different angles because we are conditioned to not believe it's important, even more for a lot of us with religious conditioning or whatever upbringing we had sex is sinful or dangerous, or there is some kind of negative connotation to it for a lot of people. So it's really important for people to hear that this desire is beautiful. It's holy, it's important. And it's connected to other aspects of yourself. Like your sexuality is part of who you are and being fulfilled in that area of your life is so important. And like you and I have talked about recently, cuz we hung out recently. It was how much is connected to worthiness? You know, how much feeling worthy of your sexual desires is important , and it's connected to that sense of like self worth. Like, am I deserving of what I want? And yes, you’re so deserving.

Amanda Testa (03:44):

That worthiness piece is so huge because you know, this is something that I work with a lot with clients and I know you do too, because I think that, you know, just based on our cultural upbringing, a lot of times there is just that sense of “not enoughness”  and it shows up and like you say, our sexuality is part of everything, right. I think it's very easy for people to compartmentalize things, but truly we are holistic beings and how we are affects everything. <laugh> right. So it can make sense if, you know, I know we were talking about this too. We, you and I both work a lot of times with like high performing, like really successful type a driven woman and they can be really, you know, just rocking and rolling in business and everything's going amazing. And then yet they feel really shut down in other areas like being able to surrender or being able to, you know, find fulfilling relationship. And so it's kind of like that. Well, if I it's like knowing that you can have both, you can have both the success, the pleasure. So I'd love if you'd speak to that a little bit.

Marie Magdalena Wolf (04:44):

Yeah. This is such a beautiful conversation, right? Cause there is so much richness and so many layers to this, but like you say, I think for a lot of us, there is internal splits, internal dichotomies, not just one dichotomy, but many dichotomies inside of us where we're like, I think I can have this, but I've been trained to believe that if I have this, I can't have that. And with our clients, like for me, I see with my clients, it manifests in many different ways, but at the core of it, there's always this, I may be giving myself permission to be worthy of that. Let's say it's sexual pleasure, but I don't believe I can have success or I don't believe I can have money or I don't believe I deserve to be loved. And it's almost like we are fragmented within, we have created this, like these beliefs that we, that we have practice keep us separated inside.

Marie Magdalena Wolf (05:31):

And I think what we're doing is really allowing ourselves and others to be like, no, we can have these inner pieces communicate together. And it's okay. And going back to what you're saying about type A women, like I think for a lot of women, they adopted the quote unquote kind of masculine way of doing business. This idea like, you know, it has to be hard and it has to be intense and it has to be nonstop. And then putting pleasure out of the equation when really to be fulfilled all of us, regardless of your, our gender, we need to bring pleasure back in our life. And it's like bringing that softness and that capacity to surrender. Not only because it's important, but because you're actually gonna success better, you're gonna have the, have a better quality of success. So yeah, bringing these pieces of ourselves together

Amanda Testa (06:22):

And there was something that you were just saying too around accessing all the different parts of us and how, when we have told ourselves a story or we feel like if I have this, then I can't have that. If I have this, then I can't have that. Or you know, I'm either on or off when it comes to productivity or whatever it is. And I mean, a lot of our, a lot of, especially here in the us, the productivity kind of grind culture is very extractive, but yet that is what we've all been taught is that you gotta work hard and you gotta do well and you gotta succeed. And then there's like the pyramid that you gotta get to the top of, which is really not benefiting anyone, maybe the person on the top, but that person on the top is usually exhausted and overwhelmed and extracting from others, which doesn't feel good sometimes or ever. Right. So it just makes me think that it's, it's important to talk about because I feel like, you know, we, yes, it's amazing and wonderful to build success. And so what I see though is, a lot of times you have done all this work. Maybe you have all the things that you've checked off on your list, but yet you're missing the deep fulfillment that you were expecting, which you had all the things <laugh>

Marie Magdalena Wolf (07:28):

Right. Yeah. And you know, this links back to that worthiness piece that I think we're gonna be, we're gonna keep on talking about, because we are brought up to believe that our value is conditional. So we are only worth the success of the money or, or the lifestyle or whatever it is or the good grades. You know, it start in school for me was so predominant and we forget that our worth is, you know, we can't put a price tag on it. We are worthy because are. all of us each, every one of us. And I feel like when we start by this, then we can allow ourselves to have our desires for money or because it's a beautiful desire also to wanna have money, to wanna feel abundant, wanna feel that our needs are met, wanna serve with more ease in our lives. So I think it's very important to not make money. Like the bad guy it's says by guy, like it is important, but maybe reframing like what within us are we connecting to in order to get there? And if I'm worthy inherently, because I am create so much peace and ease and like I can show up more, more in myself, you know, and I can welcome my desires. And so, yeah, I really feel like it starts that like I am worthy. And from that face of deserving of pleasure, I create success that is in pleasure. So it's really about changing our beliefs.

Amanda Testa (08:50):

Oh my gosh. So much yes. To that. Yes. I love it. It is so true. And I think, and I always see this and I don't know if you do, but it goes hand in hand that when you do start owning the worthiness and feeling better in your own physical being, and body and learning how to, you know, bring more pleasure into your life in all the ways, then it becomes more lucrative. You bring in more of what you want. And maybe, maybe if maybe if even make more money is not on your agenda, that will still happen. Right. And I find it too in couples, like when they're connecting, when they're having great connection, when they're have great sex, they start bringing in more of what they want. Right. Amazing things start happening outside of the bedroom too, because it is like, we're, we can't separate ourselves.

Marie Magdalena Wolf (09:31):

I know this is so important, right? This is this aliveness. And this is what, sometimes I know it's tricky in the messaging because we know we talk to people who just want better sex. And the beauty of our work is like, not only do they get this, but they get so much more than this because it's an internal fulfillment. It's like a reconnection to self to your soul in your body. It's like an, alivenesss magnetism. And it's true when you help a couple, oh my God, we can't talk so much about relationship dynamics. But when each partner grows into that worthiness and shares it with each other, they're ready. Not only as individuals, but as a couple. And they bring better things for the home the family. Yeah. It is true. It is beautiful and so important.

Amanda Testa (10:20):

Yeah. And I mean, and sometimes on that road, like you say, people come for the great sex, but there's all these other things they get. And also there's a lot of things that often are uncovered <laugh> right? Because we are often very unaware of what might be happen on a subconscious level or all the things that we've experienced in lives that are showing up to keep us from feeling that we are worthy or feeling that we deserve what we want. And so oftentimes, you know, the journey might not look like you think it will <laugh> because then you start unwinding all these different things that you've experienced and like really working through those to get to a place where you can then have the great sex. And sometimes, you know, there's, there's a journey involved, right? <laugh>

Marie Magdalena Wolf (10:58):

Yeah. The journey I wanna say, almost never looks like what you think is gonna look like <laugh>,

Amanda Testa (11:05):

Especially

Marie Magdalena Wolf (11:06):

Through coaching and sexuality coaching. What we do is still emerging is still new. I think for a lot of people, they have to understand like what it is about. And like you say, working with a, a subconscious mind and a subconscious beliefs and listening to the body, cuz the body's gonna tell us what they are is, is new. And it's so fascinating cuz you think sex coaching is about, you know, different strokes and different speeds and different toys. And, and yes, of course this is important knowing your anatomy is important, but more importantly is your beliefs. And really like that's why speaking about money and success and work is important because I see a lot of people who stay stuck in their perception of sex. For example, you know, for a lot of us, we get into our twenties and we start exploring sexuality. We dating and being single and dating and having sex for a subconscious mind is a very different thing than being engaged or being married or being committed, no matter the, the relationship or agreement, right?

Marie Magdalena Wolf (12:05):

Just this idea of commitment and building, it's a very different things. And we have modeled that our parents didn't necessarily have the greatest relationship for a lot of us and, and all of those beliefs start to kick in at different stages. So that's why I think in relationships I've seen for myself sometimes I'm like, oh my God, but I was so free. And I was so sexual and I, and like my quality of desire has changed. Yeah. But I'm in different situation. So my subconscious is turning on different little softwares, you know, different, different beliefs. And then I get to work with that.

Amanda Testa (12:39):

Yes. And you know, something else that it's making me think of when you are really getting into understand where your beliefs come from and how to kind of work with the body, what's coming up around that and reframing them is what often comes up too. That like you mentioned before, these taboo things, there's a lot of shame. And so I would love if you would speak to the shame for a moment.

Marie Magdalena Wolf (13:01):

Oh my God. Yes. Shame such a big one. Shame. It's so important to first of all, welcome shame because it's one of the emotions that is the hardest to feel for is shame. And there is fear. I think that is the hardest to feel. And even like just this week I did a session with a client. It was all about shame and reframing her relationship to that. And so much empowerment came from this and what I think it's so important for our audience to really understand and hear over and over again. It's the thing that we don't like. The thing that block us, the emotions that are heavy are protectors. Like I see it over and over again in session, when we ask the question, what role does that serve? And we are in a very deep, almost like a hypnosis kind of state. The answer is always, I am a protector.

Marie Magdalena Wolf (13:54):

And so shame is a protector. And we know, you know, from, I don't know if it's like sociology or where the research comes from, but that we as humans are, are social creature and shame is a way to regulate our behavior in community. Right? So shame has a function to keep us surviving and evolving as a species. But then we realized that, you know, some old, like some, some of this shame doesn't serve us so to speak, right? So we understand it has a function. We understand, we took on shame to protect ourselves growing up. So if our parents say masturbation is so bad and blah, blah, blah, and we feel shame as a way to be loved as a way to stay accepted. And then you keeps on going up, maybe your school mates are shaming you when you're like, you know, a teenager and about your body or your sexual preferences.

Marie Magdalena Wolf (14:48):

And then, and then shame stays there like, oh my God turns on to protect us every time we wanna express more of ourselves. So dealing with shame in our coaching work is just so important because it's just gonna be there. And you know, I remember Layla saying something in our, something, you know, the few things that stayed with you. Like they, I remember her saying that don't remember what the context was, but she say, I eat shame for breakfast. And for me was really the reminder that, oh, every time I expand, every time I show up, every time I take risk, I'm gonna feel ashamed. Like, and I'm gonna hold myself and feel and do all the things I know how to do and eat it for breakfast and go on <laugh>. So yes.

Amanda Testa (15:32):

I mean, it's so true. We have these natural rhythms of expansion and contraction. And so as we're on this path of growth of expansion of more pleasure or even more money or whatever it is, there's gonna be discomfort in that because our nervous system really wants to keep us safe. It wants to have things remain as they are when there's change, then there's fear. And it's like, eh, and so oftentimes you will have a big expansion and then maybe the next day you're like, Ugh, there's a compression that happens. And it's kind of just being aware of that, to know, okay, I know that after I expand, then there is gonna be a contraction. So how can I hold myself through that contraction? And how do I plan for that? Because just knowing it's gonna happen, the acceptance part and the awareness can be so helpful and healing to know. Right?

Marie Magdalena Wolf (16:20):

Yeah. So helpful. And then we develop a new relationship to shame and we can't even like give it a new role within us. Like that's a thing that my client was doing is like shame first was a protector. And then she said that we chat was so cool. She said, oh, I'm gonna make it a piece that allows me to be funny. Like, and so she transformed inside herself and gave it a new role, a new function in her empowerment, connecting to her empowerment and knowing like, so in this conversation, I think when we wanna move away, not move away, but let's say transform shame. We need safety. And I, as you know, you and I like safety is the cornerstone of what we do. Helping people feel safe in their sexuality and their pleasure and their orgasm and their expansion so safe. When you practice feeling safe in your nervous system, not just in your mind, but in your body like regulating, then shame is so much easier to transform because it does and have a rule anymore. If you feel safe, then you don't need that shame.

Amanda Testa (17:16):

And it's such a like, like you say, safe safety is the cornerstone is the number one thing, feeling safe enough to tune into what you want and to be able to voice it, name it, and to be able to receive it. Those are three big keys around that too. And the safety is the number one thing. And like you say, you're like, well, how, how go about feeling more safe in, in wanting more, but you can easily, I mean, that's actually part of the process. You're like, well, what would it look like if you have X amount of dollars in your bank account, how does that feel to you? Like, does it feel, do you feel an openness? Do you feel, you know, kind of an expansion in your body or does it feel scary or do you feel like compression in your chest? Like kind of noticing what's coming up, whether it's around X amount of dollars in your bank account or X amount of orgasms in an experience with your partner, right? Like it can be anything, but that is such

Marie Magdalena Wolf (18:03):

A good way

Amanda Testa (18:04):

To discern that. Yeah, exactly. And at the same time, <laugh>,

You know, for me, I see

Marie Magdalena Wolf (18:12):

This like three spheres relationship, which we often equal to love, uh, sex, which we equal to orgasm and pleasure and aliveness and then money, which we equals to abundance and wealth and freedom. Right. So I see these three spheres and for me, they, we have to like, how do they intersect or don't intersect and can we bring them closer to each other within ourselves? Um, because I see them as facets of the same side of us as us, our capacity to receive in our capacity to communicate, connect with and exchange. So safety, you know, and we're talking about sex and money, the most charged topics in, in society really. I don't see what is more charged than sex and money.

Amanda Testa (18:53):

Yeah. It's so true. And like you say, like, I just picture like the VIN diagram of bringing all this together and like what happens when these things come together? And I think sometimes again, it's like opening up the spectrum of what that looks like of what sexuality is of what abundance. And maybe it might not look like you think it might look right, because when you kind of open the potential of what is possible, there's space for something new there's space for something different. Now, when I think about that, cuz oftentimes you might think, well, if I'm sexual, how can I show up to work like that? Well, there's always a dial, right? You can always have a dial of how you express yourself. So maybe when you're with your partner, your sexual expression looks different. Your aliveness looks different than when you are in an important business meeting, but your aliveness can still be turned on in a different way. Right? It's like being excited and turned onto whatever it is you're doing in that moment. Right. Ooh,

Marie Magdalena Wolf (19:48):

I love that, Amanda. I think this is beautiful that you talk about the dial and the fact that we can raise the level, like turn on, turn up or turn down the volume, but still stay true to ourselves because I think part of the fears of sexual awakening is, oh my God, I'm gonna be too much. I'm gonna be uncontrollable. I'm gonna be horny all the freaking time for men and for women, no matter the gender, like for men also fear, they fear of being in their sexual power because of, you know, the society we live in. So people tend to shut themselves off and, and repress because they're afraid, oh my God, if I turn it on, this is over.

This is over my life is over <laugh>

Marie Magdalena Wolf (20:28):

And actually you're right. Part of safety is knowing that it almost like it's a light that can shine brighter or less bright, but at the CORe of uss, we are alive at the Core of us.

Amanda Testa (20:39):

And I like to think of it like as kind of like a charisma, right? When you think about someone who is charismatic and fun, and you can tell the people who walk into a room and just have that energy that draws you in, right. You can feel it versus someone who might be more shut down or more, you know, not really feeling good in themselves. And it's normal that we'll go through those experiences. Cuz I mean, I think we could, all I know for my own experience, there was a long time of my life where I was totally miserable in my body and hated myself. And you know, it took me a while to move through that. But I feel like for the first, I don't know, 20 something years of my life, I probably wished that I looked different or wish that my body was different or wish that I was different or I wasn't good enough because I wasn't skinny enough or whatever the story I was telling myself was <laugh> right. And then you realize at some point like, well who's telling me this, this is like, this is what you know, I'm seeing around me or this is what my, the magazines are telling me or this is what the culture is telling me, which is truly a bunch of BS.

Marie Magdalena Wolf (21:39):

<laugh> mm-hmm <affirmative>

Amanda Testa (21:40):

Right.

Marie Magdalena Wolf (21:41):

For sure. And you know what I noticed, that's in interesting around body image. I was thinking about this the last few months. I, first of all, I used to wanna be really, really skinny when I was a teenager in my twenties and now I'm like gain some boob or gain some ass and I'm like welcoming it all. So it's so funny how those standards change. Even internally, those standards of what we think beauty is or attraction is. And what's funny to notice is that my body actually hasn't changed much in the last 20 years or 25 years. Even my weight hasn't changed much, but my self love is completely different, which means really it's an internal game, you know, it's like, yeah, it's, this is so fascinating. And it really shows how beliefs work with it. Like now I love myself more and I embrace my pussy and I embrace my breasts.

Marie Magdalena Wolf (22:27):

I love my breasts, all parts of, of myself I used to hate and they haven't changed. It's my, it's the love that I give to them that I has changed. And, and I think as a result, I feel more beautiful. And as a result, I am more beautiful because I feel more confident, you know, I really think it's connected, you know, and I try to partner who finds me beautiful because I own it. And I allow him to reflect it back to me, to versus before was like secretly wanting it. But at the same time being like so afraid of it,

Amanda Testa (22:54):

I love how you just said, I allow him to reflect that back to me. And I think this is bringing up another point that I know we wanted to talk about around receptivity and being able to receive the good, right. It's like how comfortable would you feel to just be standing there naked and having someone adore and worship you and compliment you and just like tell you how amazing you are. How, how would that feel? Well, it feels amazing. And, but it might not feel it might be hard at first, right? Sometimes I do. We were talking about this the other day because I've changed so much in how I view myself. It's sometimes hard for me to put myself back into my mindset of how it used to be. And I think, thank God, but it's possible for anyone, right? Like you said, you just have such, my body hasn't changed that much. And actually I've probably gained like 20 pounds in the past few years and there's still so much like love and feeling good in my body. And it doesn't matter to me like it once did. And maybe that comes with age too. But I think it's a lot of work of self acceptance and appreciating who you are as you are. I'm like what this vessel is capable of. Right.

Marie Magdalena Wolf (23:54):

And yeah. To

Amanda Testa (23:55):

Receive people appreciating it. Yeah.

Marie Magdalena Wolf (23:57):

It's a word like it's because you know, it's the same thing with money. It's the same thing with pleasure. It's the same thing with being found at attractive and being successful. Like sometimes we, I mean the game is internal and we don't realize that we want something, but we're so afraid of that. We block ourselves from receiving them and through the coaching work and just self, self heating and self development, we start to see that we are the one afraid of ourselves in our power and blocking it. And so if we talk about being found attractive or I would've been terrified to be with the men who would see the Goddess in me, like I would not even, I have allowed this kind of men in my life. And when I started to give it to myself, doing mirror work, massaging my pussy, massaging, my breast, looking at myself, feeling all the ness and grossness and just moving to the emotions.

Marie Magdalena Wolf (24:44):

And then I attracted a man who sees me this way and it's beautiful. Cause then it's a virtual cycle. The more I receive it, the more he feels free to offer to me. And I offer it to him and it expands and it expands and it expands. And I think receiving, we can only receive all this goodness that we want in life when we feel safe in it. And it goes back to the dial. You know, we were just talking about this idea. Like it is safe for me to be sexy. It is safe for me to be sexy and spiritual and smart and share my gifts and make money doing this and be compensated in a delicious way. It is safe to be worshiped by my partner. Like those levels of safety, because since it was not modeled to us a conscious mind that no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

Marie Magdalena Wolf (25:28):

Like being married means fighting all the time. Being married means fighting about money and fighting about not having sex. Oh my God, this is what I had around me growing up, you know? And then we try to normalize it when it's not normal. So it's really about changing the stories and the trauma and, and realizing, and sisterhood love. We know sisterhood is such a big part of it. Like for me being around women like human, all the beautiful women and not just women, like just expensive human in our community that are owning themselves and their truth. That makes me feel safe cuz I know I'm not gonna be rejected if I shine. Or if I say my relationship is amazing, I know I'm gonna be accepted.

Amanda Testa (26:08):

I think that's so true. Like the community aspect, because healing happens in community, right? We are not meant to be in isolation. And I do find that's what sometimes I love about just the group aspect of finding a community that feels supportive, right? Finding that environment where you can be your true self and be celebrated in it and have the people reflect back your amazingness and having friends that like  mirror how amazing you are or partners that mirror how amazing you are. And I think that is, you know, something that you might have to cultivate and it can take time. And I think that just is to name the real challenge of that. I know I've talked about this recently on the podcast of just like the challenge of community, but, and I, and it's funny cuz today I was on another meeting and, and someone was, was talking about Bumble BFF, which I've never heard of, but apparently it's a way to connect with friends to make friends Bumble BFF.

Amanda Testa (26:57):

So I was like, oh, there you go. Here's a tool. If you wanna try to build some community, <laugh>, you know, finding  those people that uplift you. And that's what I think is so important because you can't truly be yourself unless you can also have that reflected in others. Sometimes when you, when you feel like you have to numb who you are or mute who you are or there's all the kinds of different words for it, tall poppy syndrome or whatever, the thing that you don't wanna shine to bRight? Because then you'll feel bad or you'll make other people feel bad. It's like, no, you wanna be in an environment where everyone is the brightest star because there's a million bright stars. There's galaxy that is unfathomable full of bright stars. And we all have room to be as bright and brilliant as we wanna be. We're not taking away from anyone else. We're not going anyone else we're just magnifying each other's brilliance. The more we do that, right? Oh,

Marie Magdalena Wolf (27:44):

I love, I love it. I really like felt the image come alive and I saw the stars above and I was like, what a brilliant metaphor. It's so true. It's such, we're just adding more brilliance to the universe. Like this is ultimately we're meant to be. And it's you're right. It's a very vulnerable conversation because sometimes changing and owning our pleasure and owning our dire for wealth wealth in all the forms of the money being included. Let's not shy away from talking about money. It's a big part of life and it's, I believe it's energy. So it's accessible to everybody. You have to be willing to expand your community and maybe some relationships are gonna change and maybe you're gonna let go of some friendships. So let go of some relationships or set clear boundaries with your family around it. And that's part of the journey. That's part of the journey to trust that you're being an inspiration and that the people that see you as who you are, will come into your life and you don't have to. Yeah, you don't, you don't have to force your yourself to be something else. So you keep community. Yeah.

Amanda Testa (28:48):

I appreciate you saying that because you mentioned about how things change, things might change. Right. And that does feel scary and hard. And so, you know, maybe would you feel okay. Talking a little more about that because I think that is a big fear that people have like, well, yes. What if I do change? And what if my community changes and there's fear in that, but what's on the other, their side of that. Right. Maybe you can share a little more about that if you don't mind.

Marie Magdalena Wolf (29:09):

Yeah. I think, I think we forget, you know, we forget that the world is a really big, amazing place and there are a lot of humans and something I see a lot in social media, we get to be trapped in echo chambers and we forget to look outside and I think it's and to, to seek what we wanna have to seek the people who shine, what we wanna have. And I think when we repress our desires, it shows up as envy and jealousy. But when we own our desires, it, it becomes inspiration. And if we feel that we can connect these people, that they are just an expression of ourselves then will allow us to start a dialogue with them. Maybe reach out to them, maybe send them a DM, maybe be in their Facebook group or follow them on Instagram or just go for, have a coffee or create a little gathering of people on a special theme like you and I wanna do right.

Marie Magdalena Wolf (30:02):

And we know we're gonna be doing it. And I think that really, really helps. But to understand that it's not personal when people want to keep us small, it's the same as shame it's crabs in the bucket phenomenon. It's a real behavioral trait of humans to feel threatened by change. And therefore to wanna make sure people around us behave the way they've always behaved. And that's not what we're meant to be. We are meant to evolve and we are meant to change. And so it's nothing personal. I think that really helps to realize that it's not personal when people do it, but we can still have very good boundaries and voice our truth and keep connecting to the people who inspire us, us. And yeah, that has helped me more than everything to be with women who celebrate me. That's why I do it with my clients all the time. And I'm sure you do too. Like celebrate, celebrate. You are love in your celebration. You are loved in your happiness. You are loved in your orgasms. You are loved because you made $5,000 or you made $10,000 or, or whatever. Or you get get celebration is the antidote this fear of losing community

Amanda Testa (31:07):

Yet. Oh, I think that is so true. And I think that's, what's so great about a lot of the communities that we're in. It is revolving around a lot of celebration, a lot of bragging, a lot of owning your wins, a lot of owning your amazingness and like talking about it, cuz that's not something that we've been taught a lot of the times either, right? It's like, you can feel intimidating to share good things about yourself or to really own that you're a freaking amazing coach or you have a huge business and all the things, but when you can share about it, it is inspiring and it is exciting and it makes you feel good because it shows you what's possible. I think that is something like you mentioned earlier, envy, and I've been reading bene brown, one's new book, the Atlas of the heart.

Amanda Testa (31:44):

I always love learning more about emotions and data around this and whatnot, but you know, really understanding what is it, the root of a lot of emotions and like envy, resentment. Those are all in the, in that same fam family. And so oftentimes when we're feeling jealous or we're feeling envious or whatever it might be, there's something that we want that we're not naming. Right. Or there's something that that person has that we want that we're not naming or we're not owning in ourselves. Mm-hmm <affirmative>. And so I think when you feel those emotions come up, it's important to just take a, take a breath or two and just examine where you are and be like, yeah, it's totally cool that I feel this way. And I'm wondering why, like, what is it about this that's triggering to me? What is about this? That's making me feel bad or not good.

Amanda Testa (32:21):

Right. And it's maybe X, Y, Z. And then the like, well I want that. And then there's probably a part of you. That's like, well, you can't have that. That's not for you. And then you have to like work with those voices and then realize, wait a minute, this, if this is possible for them, this is possible for me. Right. Or how could I look at this in a way that it could be an inspiration versus a, a jealousy. And I think at one point I went to some, I forget some meditation retreat and I forget who this was with, but that was one of the, the lessons was around. Like we are, if we are all connected in some plane, we are all one in some plane. Then you already have what that person has. Yeah. You can just connect to it within yourself. Right. Mm-hmm <affirmative>

Marie Magdalena Wolf (32:58):

I love the, the idea of like our desires are from the divine. Like our heart and soul desire are from the divine and just letting go of all the judgements. And the thing is be like, oh, let me follow this and let me have this. And like you said, like we're saying, it's just reflecting in others. Sometimes, you know, sometimes we need permission and permission comes from seeing a others, do it and have it and it seem safe. They seem, okay, so why not us? And I feel like that's how we foster communities where we all lift each other out, you know? And I thought about something cool that we can do right now to be like, how do we brag? How about we give an example of what celebration looks like? And we brag just a little bit. You and I, what do you think?

Amanda Testa (33:41):

I love it. You go first and then I'll go. I love

Marie Magdalena Wolf (33:43):

It. All right. I brag that I'm in a, I redid my office and you can't see it cuz we are on audio. But my back drop is like bright pink and it's an accent wall and it feels so good. And it was a challenge, but I remodeled my office and I feel I could queen in my Pussy portal. I feel so good. I brag that I have amazing soul clients who transform and I excited to work with me. And I show up with love. I brag that my partner is loving and amazing and growing. I write that we just moved into a new house and we're saving money by a house. I brag that I masturbated last night, I self pleasured Last night he was sleeping next to me. And he was like, I love you so much. I was like, yeah, I just need it for myself. And it was with my beautiful crystal dildo and it felt so good. And I connected to my desires for my pleasure. So yeah, this is what I brag about for now. <laugh>

Amanda Testa (34:38):

Yes, yes, yes. So, well bragged so well bragged I am celebrating you and I just wanted to shine too in looking at you in your beautiful backdrop and it's gorgeous and there's this beautiful, like gold artwork behind you and it looks gorgeous like this halo of, um, amazingness shining from your head <laugh>

Marie Magdalena Wolf (34:57):

Oh

Amanda Testa (34:58):

Yes. And I will brag. I want to celebrate that. I just, the most epic vacation with my family went to the mountains and I just love, love, love the nature. I just get off on nature so much. It turns me on to every cell of my being. And I just love, love, love, immersing myself in that and totally disconnecting. I was hardly on my phone or the electronics and it felt so, so good to be. And just like, so see, as far as the eye could see, and even now as I'm remembering it, I'm just like, oh, that feels so good. And I had such a good time connecting with my family and I just want to celebrate my epic, epic relationship and my amazing husband who is just so sexy to me and so handsome. And I love how we flirt all day long back and forth.

Amanda Testa (35:41):

And like, I go sit on his lap and give him a lap dance, when he’s on a zoom call and all the things that we do and just, um, the playfulness that we have and just how it is possible for things to get better and better over time. We've been together for, I don't know, 14 years now, something like that. And it's still so, so good. And I like get so excited and tingly when he, when he, when he looks at me and I love that that's still possible after all this time. And I will celebrate just the amazing clients that I get to work with and how beautiful it is to watch their journeys unfold and how amazing it is to see them step into to new levels of pleasure and joy in their life and their relationship, and really claiming what they want and being able to set boundaries for themselves and actually get things that they want. It's so amazing. I also will just brag that I love my work and I love also that I get to help steward the next realm of sex and relationships coaches as I'm one of the senior teachers for the coaching certification that we did years ago. And I just also celebrate that how fun it is to do the work that we do. Right. My husband's always laughing. He's like you have the best job <laugh> I really do. <laugh> yay. Okay. That is some feeling good. Lets talk about how good it feels to brag. 

Marie Magdalena Wolf (36:57):

Seeing you and I celebrate you in your growth, in your amazing skills as a teacher and mentor and badass leader and a sexy mama who gets to be fucked and love in the way that she wants and her husband, husband and all the goodness.

Amanda Testa (37:14):

Oh yeah, this is so fun. Right? So I'll invite, if you're listening right now, maybe to take a moment, you can brag to wherever you are, brag to your kid, brag to the car, brag to the dishes, whatever you're doing right now, just say three things you wanna brag and celebrate. And we're gonna just give you a minute to do that. Yeah. We're gonna celebrate you.

Marie Magdalena Wolf (37:32):

We celebrate you in the little things and in the big things that you proud of, that you love about yourself, that you love about your life and we celebrate your heartfelt desire, whatever desire is like bubbling up, you know that you can have it, you are worthy in every cell of your being of having it.

Amanda Testa (37:51):

Yes. Yes. I just so love talking to you Marie. We could talk for hours. So I know I, and I know we've been talking about we we're, we're Suming up a pretty amazing retreat around the wealthy orgasmic woman.

Marie Magdalena Wolf (38:05):

Yeah. I love

Amanda Testa (38:06):

To follow us to stay tuned, to see when that will be. <laugh>

Marie Magdalena Wolf (38:09):

I know we're excited basically this idea we've we've been talking about how, you know, relationship to money and relationship to pleasure are similar in our capacity to feel safe and worthy of receiving. And, and we just wanna help other people feel safe in their desires and feel safe in their experience and just expand their capacity to receive so that they can share more of their gifts with the world and you know, feel highly compensated for their wisdom, that we all have wisdom. And also in pleasure. And basically what we're doing is like changing the paradigm. We are rewiring pleasure and success together. So we can do it from a new rich, loved, you know, relaxed way and make it like make it something that is possible for, for people.

Amanda Testa (38:56):

Yes. So if everyone listening wants to learn more about Marie, Marie, let me know if there is any, you know, where's the best way for people to connect with you and learn more about your coaching and working with you.

Marie Magdalena Wolf (39:07):

Yes. So you can follow me at Marie Magdalena Wolf on Facebook and Instagram. I think on Twitter now I had my assistant open an account and I'm just repurposing concept and I'm like, oh, and I have a free Facebook group free for now. Maybe not forever called holy Fuck Yes. Cuz holy. Yes, for me, is everything together? The holiness and the sexuality and saying yes to what's alive within us. That's what it's about. So join us in holy. Fuck.Yes. And you can email me at Marie@holyfuckyes. Dot com and ask me questions. I have three beautiful coaching programs, one for men, one for women and one for couples. If you are non-binary we can talk and create a custom package for you and I work with people over six months. So when we work one on one together, it's a beautiful journey cuz we don't change these old beliefs in overnight and it's good to take our time to integrate them in our nervous system. So it's beautiful six months journey of sacred, sexy transformation for you to feel sexy and have the pleasure and the healthy relationships that you want. 

Amanda Testa (40:17):

Beautiful. Thank you so much. And I'll make sure to put in the show notes, all of this, and I'm wondering Maria, as we close, if there's any less words you'd like to share or if maybe there was a question that you'd wished I'd ask that I didn't ask.

Marie Magdalena Wolf (40:27):

Well, I just wanna say that I love you so much and that you're badass and that I'm so grateful that you're having me on and how you are an example. And I don't know, I'm makes me, it brings that tears to my eyes. Like you're an example of a woman who is beautiful and successful who wants to lift each other up and who brings on other people on your channel to talk about themselves and you don't see others as competition. You see others as sisters and as peers and colleagues and you know there is room for everybody and you just showing the way. And I have chill lot over my body. Like I'm just really, really grateful for you to do that and to just lead the way and show up and include us. You inspire me.

Amanda Testa (41:08):

Mm. I love you so much too. And I just really want to, uh, just thank you for all your support. You've given me over the years and I just your celebration and I love you inspire me with your beautiful writing. And if you don't follow Marie, she's an amazing writer. So you do need to follow her. Her writing is so beautiful and just, you inspire me with your unapologetic being and how you just take up all the space and are just so, so true to yourself and like really honoring your desires. So thank you.

Marie Magdalena Wolf (41:35):

Thank you. And you know, just, Hey here, one thing I wanna add up to this, it's like, mm-hmm, <affirmative> celebrating our expression and you say me taking up space in my mind. I'm like, there's so much more space I can take. And I really feel like we're not too much. We are beautiful. And we can't take up space and is room for us to take up space in our garden, in our house, in the world, in the online space. When we walk in the street, just like be in your body, take up space. This is safe. Find the people who love you in this. Yeah. Too much is actually maybe not enough. So too much is just the right amount. This to say that <laugh>.

Amanda Testa (42:15):

Yes. Well thank you so so much, Marie, and thank you everyone. Who's listening. I so value you and thank you so much for tuning in every week. And please, if you've enjoyed this episode, share with a friend, if you a friend that you know would love it, please share then. Um, thank you so much, Marie, for being here.

Marie Magdalena Wolf (42:29):

I love you. Bye.

Amanda Testa (42:32):

Thank you so much for listening to the find your feminine fire podcast. This is your host Amanda test. And if you have felt a calling while listening to this podcast to take this work to a deeper level, this is your golden and invitation. I invite you to reach out. You can contact me@amandatestthe.com slash activate, and we can have a heart to heart to discuss more about how this work can transform your life. You can also join us on Facebook and the group find your feminine fire group. And if you've enjoy this podcast, please share with your friends, go to iTunes and give me a five star rating and a raving review. So I can connect with other amazing listeners like yourself. Thank you so much for being a part of the community.