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TÂMARA CASTELO is a specialist in Chinese Traditional Medicine and the CEO of Tâmara Castelo Clinic (Lisbon and Porto), TMC Health, TMC Holistic and TMC Jewellery. At her clinic, Tâmara treats sleep disorders, thyroid disorders, intestine diseases, anxiety, migraines, and hormonal problems, and takes a holistic approach to healing. She is the author of Healing Without Medicine, Eating Without Guilt, and Full Balance—all winners of Gourmand awards. She lives in Lisbon.

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EPISODE 255: Tâmara Castelo


[Fun, Empowering Music]

Amanda Testa: Hello, and welcome to the Find Your Feminine Fire podcast. I am your host, Amanda Testa. I am a sex, love, and relationship coach, and in this podcast, my guests and I talk sex, love, and relationships, and everything that lights you up from the inside out. Welcome!

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Hey, what’s up? It’s Amanda! If you're enjoying this pod, and you know you are ready to say yes to more pleasure, and you are just wanting to know, “How the hell do I do it,” well, you are in luck because as of now, we have spots available in The Pleasure Foundation which is my pleasure membership where twice a month you get an amazing practice that teaches you how to tap into your body, to become more connected to yourself, and to learn the art of sacred self-care. So, if this is something you're interested in, go to www.amandatesta.com/tpf (as in The Pleasure Foundation) and we will see you there!

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Have you ever noticed how even performing the smallest, little routine tasks, rituals, if you will, (you know I love rituals) can have a ripple effect --

1:09

Tâmara Castelo: Me too!

Amanda Testa: -- that is the result of big transformation? I am excited for today’s podcast because if you know me and have been listening to the pod, you know how much I preach about the power of rituals, and I love that combination of simple plus doable for lasting results, and today on the pod, I have a very special guest, and she actually has written numerous books. The most recent book being on rituals. So, I’m talking today with Tâmara Castelo, a specialist in Chinese Traditional Medicine. She not only works with patients in person, but she also treats a lot of things like sleep disorders, thyroid issues, anxiety, migraines, all the things, very holistically, and she’s written numerous books, but her newest book is called The Power of Rituals, and I’m so excited to talk with her today. So, welcome, welcome! Thank you so much.

Tâmara Castelo: Thank you! Thanks for having me.

Amanda Testa: Yes, and I’d love it if you wouldn't mind just sharing a little bit about kind of what excites you the most about the work that you do.

2:04

Tâmara Castelo: Oh, boy, that’s a big question! Everything excites me about the work I do. [Laughs]

Amanda Testa: [Laughs]

Tâmara Castelo: I love my work. I have the pleasure and the honor of directing a big, big team. We are 30 these days, so I’m really proud. I have two clinics in Portugal. We do a really good job (I think, I hope) with a holistic practice. Not only we treat patients, and we treat their life in a way, changing their habits, their eating habits, their sleeping habits, their everyday habits (or rituals, as you can call it). So yeah, the thing that I love most about my job is the transformation that occurs in the person. For me, it’s the most rewarding thing in the world because you can make a change and you can see it. So, it’s beautiful.

Amanda Testa: I love that, and I also so appreciate the holistic approach that you have.

Tâmara Castelo: Thank you.

2:59

Amanda Testa: Because from what I’ve read about and just even digesting a little bit of your book, it’s really encompassing everything because, really, when we’re trying to make a change in one area, often, there are numerous things attached to that.

Tâmara Castelo: It’s impossible! Sometimes the people say to me, “But everything is connected,” and I say, “Yes, I’m sorry!” [Laughs] Everything is connected. You have to do it all - the sleep, the food, your mind, your body. You are together with you and the world. So…

Amanda Testa: Yes.

Tâmara Castelo: We have to catch it all.

Amanda Testa: And I think one of the things that I would love if you would share a little bit more just from your own perspective, you know, kind of on your relationship with ritual and what has led you to be so passionate about helping other people adopt simple rituals.

Tâmara Castelo: I think it’s anxiety. I was really, really anxious when I was a little girl. For me, it was terrible. Being a child was really a nightmare to me. So, I was really anxious. Then I found out I have a thyroid disease, so I was anxious for a reason. [Laughs]

4:03

So, I was like 18 when I found out, but it’s been 10 years since that year -- since I was 8 years old until my 18th birthday. I was really anxious all the time, and the little things make me feel more grounded, like my grandmother was perfect to do that. She’d light a candle, breathe with me, she’d put the hands on my shoulders for me to chill, and little things that make me feel in my own kin. I don't know if you ever felt, severely, anxiety.

Amanda Testa: Yes.

Tâmara Castelo: But it’s really helpful, and I think my connection to ritual began there. And so, it was really, really at a young age because I wasn't feeling good, and I had a lot of sleep disorders, and these little things like she gives me something to smell. At that point it was 30 years ago. Essential oils of lavender, and then I smell that, and she put it on my pillow, and that helped, you know?

5:09

It really helped, and for me, it was the connection that I lacked, and then that connection allowed me to be really more grounded, more breathing, more in, and the anxiety got better. So, yeah, rituals for me are that connection with yourself and with the world. Those little things that keep you here.

Amanda Testa: I love that because it’s very easy to not be here, and like you say --

Tâmara Castelo: Oh, yeah.

Amanda Testa: -- especially in just the busy lives so many of us lead, they’re so full of stress and urgency and rush. Yeah.

Tâmara Castelo: And sometimes I ask my patients -- nowadays I do a lot of cancer patients because I have a Masters in Oncology, and it’s been my last years I’ve been doing that, and I always ask them what you do in your life these past two days makes you really, really happy, and they look at me like they don't even know what they do the last two days.

6:08

Amanda Testa: Yeah.

Tâmara Castelo: Like, I don't even know what I have to -- the lunch I had yesterday, I don't remember. So, it’s like this, you know. You go through life cruising, not living it, and it’s really difficult because the stress and the anxiety and the insomnia and all the patterns of your mind are completely disconnected because you’re not here. Your brain is completely imbalanced, and you can see that in the blood tests. You can see that in the cortisol levels and in our adrenaline levels. It’s biochemical which is crazy amazing.

Amanda Testa: Yeah.

Tâmara Castelo: So, yeah.

Amanda Testa: So, I’m curious, too, you know, based on all of your years of study and your training in Traditional Chinese Medicine as well as your Masters in Oncology, how would you say that kind of informs your philosophy around how you treat and approach your patients and just, in general, supporting others to live their healthiest lives?

7:03

Tâmara Castelo: Yeah, normally I tend to explain to them how their body works because everybody is a body.

Amanda Testa: Yeah.

Tâmara Castelo: Nobody has the same body, so normally, I explain, “Your body likes this. You have to do this. You have to do that.” So, I examine the patient. I’ve known my patients for many years, but when they're new I look at them, I look at their exams, I look at their life history, mother, father, everything. You have to look at the big picture to see which lineage, which family, what happened when you were a child. You have to know everything because it’s a person, and you got your biochemistry is in every step of the way, so you have to know it all from your birth until that moment.

So, I have to know it all, and then I start to design a picture in my mind how the body works with a lot of Ayurvedic and Traditional Chinese Medicine and biotypes, and start to cross it off, and then I begin to explain to the patient, “Well, your body’s like this. It likes that.”

8:09

And I explain to them, “Well, you have this because of this.” I talk a lot in my appointments. They're one hour and a half, and I talk, talk, talk, talk, and then when they comprehend, it’s easy. They do what I want because they understand. [Laughs]

Amanda Testa: Yeah.

Tâmara Castelo: So, I say, “It’s like this, and now we have to do this because of this.” And sometimes it’s really difficult because I have to go to diet changes that are really tough. I have to change completely the time and the schedule of the work, and if they understand, they'll do it because then they will see results in one week.

Amanda Testa: Yeah.

Tâmara Castelo: And then they’ll stick to it.

Amanda Testa: Yes.

Tâmara Castelo: And even if you say, “Okay, now it’s okay. You can slow down,” they will still do it. I say, “You can slow down!” “No, I’m good!” “No, no, but you can ride it out.” “No, no, no, no! I’m really good!” I say, “Okay, go do it!”

9:03

So, you know, you have to explain to people their body. They have to know their body because they don't know their body. Everything is disconnected so they don't know. So, if you explain to them, they will understand, “Okay.” I will give you an example.

A woman that comes to the office, the legs are swollen at the end of the day, and she feels heavy, and she feels tired, and she feels bruised a lot (you know, when you touch anything and you feel bruised in the legs), and you feel craving about sweets, and your hair is starting to fall. This is the biotype. A lot of people get these things. You have constipation. You don’t go to the toilet a lot. This is really common here in Portugal. It’s a biotype. It’s really simple to resolve all these issues. You just have to change this and this and this and this. They do that in one month. Everything is solved. And they say, “Wow! That’s a miracle!” It’s not a miracle. You just give your body what it needs. Just know yourself because we are all -- the biochemistry’s a lot alike, but if you just look at it and you do it perfect, the body works amazingly. But you have to explain that.

10:15

Amanda Testa: Right.

Tâmara Castelo: If you don't explain it to them, they’ll do nothing.

Amanda Testa: Yes.

Tâmara Castelo: [Laughs] It’s terrible.

Amanda Testa: So, I’m wondering if you wouldn't mind sharing a little bit more about what a biotype is and how people can figure out what that is for them?

Tâmara Castelo: Of course, in the book --

Amanda Testa: Yes!

Tâmara Castelo: -- you can cross it. [Laughs]

Amanda Testa: Yes, yes.

Tâmara Castelo: Well, the biotype, you have types of blood, and you have types of chemistry, and you have your mother and your father, and the people are normally divided in three big groups for the Traditional Chinese Medicine and for Ayurvedic Medicine and for a lot of medicines, actually. So it’s like the more common -- we have all the three groups, of course, because we share a lot of genes, and we share a lot of biochemistry together. We all are the same species, of course, but sometimes the behavior of our organs and our chemistry is more to the right, more to the left, or more to the center, and you can see that in people.

11:11

People that have the tendency to be lean, or the tendency to get big fat in the belly, or the tendency to sleep a lot, or the tendency to don't sleep at all, and you can see that in babies even. It’s completely obvious because there are babies that sleep perfect and a lot of hours, and a lot of babies that don't like to take naps. They don't nap. They don't like it. It’s like their biotype. Nothing to do because, “Oh, one of my children sleep a lot, one of my children --,” there’s nothing wrong with the baby. The baby don't sleep. It’s their biotype. Some of them don't sleep at noon. Whatever. Some are good. Some people are perfect with their stomach. They can just eat everything. Some people can't eat nothing because they are very sensitive.

12:01

And the Chinese and the Indians, they put little groups about these particularities, and they find out they are not particularities. They're actually types.

Amanda Testa: Mm. Mm-hmm.

Tâmara Castelo: It’s beautiful. So, you can divide it, and it’s really, really simple. So, you can find out your tendency biotype because you have a lot of the other, and then when you find it, you can find what to eat, how to sleep, what to use, and to promote your health in a more easier way because if you go and you see your body type is this (normally it’s two out of three, but one is more important), you can go to the list, and you can see, “This is good for me, and this is not good for me.” And even if it’s small changes you can see in your body (more energy, more sleep, whatever you need). The balance will be restored if you work on your body type. And this is something you can do alone. You don't need anybody. You just need to see what your biotype, and that is really simple to do because we don't have a lot of systems. We just have the most important: the digestive system, the sleeping system, the working of the bowels, and the mind. With this, you can know practically everything about the person. [Laughs]

13:18

Amanda Testa: So, I’m wondering, I guess, are there rituals that are effective for people no matter what their biotype is?

Tâmara Castelo: Oh, of course.

Amanda Testa: I know there are probably certain ones for certain biotypes.

Tâmara Castelo: Yes, of course.

Amanda Testa: What are some of your favorite simple rituals?

Tâmara Castelo: Ooh, simple, I love. I have my morning rituals that I love that I do every day in my life. I can share, and my night rituals I can share, too.

So, my morning rituals are everyday when I wake up. When I wake up, before I open my eyes, I always think of a word (the first word that comes to mind everyday), and no matter the word, I always focus on it, and I just let it fill. And if it’s a good word, I empower it, and if it’s not so good (a feeling that I don't like), I just dissolve it. I drink a lot of water when I wake up, and then I just clean it out.

14:08

And then the other ritual I do in the morning, I do the word thing every day of my life, and then the other thing is my intention of the day. I do it every day in my life. I sit. I don't eat in the morning because my biotype is not good for eating in the morning. My stomach is terrible, so I sit down a bit for a minute, and I focus on my day, and normally, I make a list of what I want to achieve in that day.

I can give you an example. I want to be focused. I want to be clear. Because I manage a big group -- this was today. I’m telling you what I write today. I think I remember because I write, and then I throw it away. I want to be clear. I want to be good. I want to be with perseverance -- I think that’s the word -- because I had a big meeting, and it was difficult, and I just empower myself with that words, and I read it like seven or eight times, I breathe, and I go. So, pop, pop, pop, pop. This is my two rituals, and I do it every day.

15:07

Then when it’s the full moon, the other one I do, I do a lot with a lot of things. At night every day I light candles. You cannot see it because it’s far away, but I have an altar in my house, and every day in the morning I light it up, and then I light it up, too, just to be thankful about today and with my patients and my staff and everything and my children and to protect my family because I like that, and I feel connected to them, and I remember them because when you do a ritual and you think about people you love, you also connect with them and you remember them. That’s important. So, I remember my family, the ones that I love. And then when I go to bed, I always ask my subconscious to bring me what I need to know and take all that I don't need to know away and give me a good night to sleep, every day. And then I do one more specific, but this is my routine, and it goes to everybody, and it’s helpful for everybody because it allows your brain to have a motive, and brains are organs. They have to have something to do.

16:19

Amanda Testa: Yes.

Tâmara Castelo: You have to -- yeah, otherwise they just be stupid and give you crazy ideas. [Laughs] It’s important to keep this under control!

Amanda Testa: Yes.

Tâmara Castelo: [Laughs] Yes.

Amanda Testa: So, speaking to that, I appreciate that ritual you shared earlier to kind of dissolve some of the toxic thoughts that sometimes come, but what would be some other maybe simple rituals that you could share around that? When you have the thoughts that are coming up that aren't supportive or the toxic thoughts, those type of things. What could you share around that?

Tâmara Castelo: Right. Dumping. Dumping is the most beautiful thing in the world. So, every year, I have a big, big Instagram group that I lead, and it goes with my name. It’s Tamaristas.

17:05

It’s like 800 people I lead for a week normally (three/four times a year), and I lead them normally with rituals and everything, and the dumping ritual is the most symptom -- the one that they prefer because we like the topic, but you can do that when you are with the topic. You know, on your mind and your day’s circling around like ka-ka-ka-ka, ka-ka-ka-ka, and your brain is like blah, that’s the topic, okay? Don’t do it.

Yeah, if you have one already, you don't have to ask for one. And then you just jot down whatever is on your mind. It’s like a download from a computer. We just write it, and it doesn't have to make sense at all. It can be random words. It’s not important. The important thing is you have to pick up the words in your brain, and then you have to take it out. It’s like taking out the trash, and you do that for about five minutes. You have to put the timer - it’s important. And then you’re dumping, dumping, dumping, dumping, dumping, and then you breathe, and then you see there’s a new stupid virus in your mind, and then when you’ve got it, then you go five minutes more - pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa. It doesn't matter. The paper is not for reading. Nobody will read it. It’s going directly to the garbage. So, it’s just for your brain to get a moment of discharge, and this is so helpful. It saved my life one million times, you know?

18:32

So, for negative thoughts, it’s amazing. So, it’s really helpful, and a pen, everybody has one. So, it doesn't cost money. Paper. Go, go, go, go, go. It’s not the same when writing on the computer. Sometimes people ask me. You have to write it by hand because the connection of the hand and the brain is important. I don't know why, but it helps, and then you have to take it all out, and then you sit for one minute. You see if there’s another. If not, it’s okay. Five minutes more. Dump it. The words don't have to make a sentence. Just words, words, words, words. It can be cats. It can be yellow. It can be bitch. Whatever. It’s just letting the stress go from your brain, and eventually, when you feel more calmer, then you can begin the process of putting something constructive and positive to your brain, because when you're in the circle of negative thoughts, it’s very difficult to think of something positive.

19:28

People say that sometimes, “Oh, think of something positive.” Oh, if that was easy, I will do it, but that’s not easy. That’s not an easy twist. [Laughs] So, we have to do something in between.

So, normally to calm your brain down, to put your cortisol down, to put your thoughts down, dumping is really cool or breathing exercises are really cool too.

Amanda Testa: Yes, yes. I love that. I love how when you write like that, it can just be -- it’s crazy the things that come out, right? And it’s good to just write all the things that you're even thinking in your head like, “This is dumb. Why am I writing? Blah, blah, blah, I’m writing. I’m writing, I’m writing.” But just let it go, and then eventually it just starts to pour out.

Tâmara Castelo: Yeah, yeah, yeah! I write that all the time. “I’m writing, I’m writing!” I do that a lot of times. “I’m writing. I don’t know what I’m writing, but I’m writing.” [Laughs] But it’s really amazing. It’s like freedom, you know? It’s free. You can free your mind and everybody. Because it’s a lot of stress, you know? It’s stress in your mind, stress outside. It’s a lot of difficult, a difficult century.

20:26

Amanda Testa: Yes, I love to do that. I like to do it in the morning, and I actually got it’s like a writing tablet. It’s the best thing ever, and I love it because, for me, it works. I write and I write, and I write, and then I can have hundreds and hundreds of pages in the same tablet.

Tâmara Castelo: It’s beautiful.

Amanda Testa: It’s so great.

Tâmara Castelo: Yeah, but the thing you have to have it by hand, no matter what.

Amanda Testa: Yeah, it’s written by hand. It’s written by hand.

Tâmara Castelo: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, whatever, but the hand is important. The hand movement is important.

Amanda Testa: Yeah. Mm-hmm.

Tâmara Castelo: Because the hand connects to the brain, and it’s important.

Amanda Testa: Yes.

Tâmara Castelo: So, this, no, but this? It’s amazing.

Amanda Testa: Yeah, and I like -- because I think, often, what I’ll do is when I first wake up in the morning, that’s always a lot of excitement and energy and sometimes anxiety and all the things. That’s when it comes up for me. So, I’m like okay, let’s just write down all the things so that you can figure out what is --

21:17

Tâmara Castelo: Yeah, but you can do an exercise in bed if you do have anxiety in the morning.

Amanda Testa: Yeah.

Tâmara Castelo: You want me to tell you?

Amanda Testa: Sure.

Tâmara Castelo: Okay, so, you can activate your vagus nerve. So it’s really important to do that in the bed. It’s when you have anxiety, like wake up like this. So, if you do that, if any of your listeners do that, you have to do a simple exercise. You do it three times. It will lower your diaphragm, and it will activate your vagus nerve. So, it’s really, really good. It de-stresses your body immediately. It’s amazing, so you have to breathe in, mouth closed. You’ll do it with me. Go. And then you lock your breathing, and you do a lot of strength like you're going to poop, but don't poop. Until you can handle it, and then when you need to breathe, you breathe, and you lay low.

Amanda Testa: [Exhales] Yes.

22:16

Tâmara Castelo: Three times. If you do that in the morning -- whatever the time. When you feel a lot of senses, immediately, immediately lower your blood pressure. Immediately lower your heart rate. Immediately, then lock your muscles. It’s immediate, and it’s physical.

Amanda Testa: Yes.

Tâmara Castelo: You don't need to do work in your brain.

Amanda Testa: Yes, I love that.

Tâmara Castelo: You can work -- yeah, yeah, me too! [Laughs]

Amanda Testa: I love the somatic practices that work so quickly because, oftentimes, when we are in those states, we can’t -- we don't often know what it is that we need to do. So just something simple that you can practice so then when you do find yourself in that state, you could get there and do it.

Tâmara Castelo: That one, you do it, and it’s automatic.

Amanda Testa: Yeah. Mm-hmm.

Tâmara Castelo: Because it’s physical.

Amanda Testa: Yeah.

Tâmara Castelo: You just push your diaphragm to your nerve so it’s more physical to kind of get it, you know?

Amanda Testa: Yes, yes.

Tâmara Castelo: So, it’s physical. It’s your sympathetic system’s lower down, and your parasympathetic opens up and then it’s a physical thing.

Amanda Testa: Yes.

23:15

Tâmara Castelo: It’s beautiful. So, you don't have to control it by brain. It’s amazing for people who have panic attacks, people who have a lot of anxiety, fear. It’s really important, too. So, any state of really, really tension, it works amazingly.

Amanda Testa: Yeah.

Tâmara Castelo: And you feel it. It’s immediate.

Amanda Testa: Yes.

Tâmara Castelo: So, it’s good.

Amanda Testa: I love that.

Tâmara Castelo: Gives you control.

Amanda Testa: I love that. And I think, too, because, you know, a lot of the work that I do is traumatic trauma resolution, and so, a lot of those simple somatic techniques to get your parasympathetic nervous system going, to immediately shift something, there are so many great ways to do that.

Tâmara Castelo: That’s amazing.

Amanda Testa: And so, I love sharing those. I love that one that you just shared.

Tâmara Castelo: Another one that’s beautiful when it’s a redline -- when this one is not working properly, you can bite your little finger, okay? Mm, and then you do it. You bite it. When you have coming to a panic attack, you mm, and it stops immediately.

24:14

It’s a really powerful acupressure point, but the most amazing way to do it is with yourself, of course. It’s bite. In your tooth just like this, and then mm, give it a bite.

Amanda Testa: I love it. You're good! We’ll try these for sure!

Tâmara Castelo: Yeah. Yeah!

Amanda Testa: I love that.

Tâmara Castelo: I’m the master of anxiety so you do it! I have a lot of them.

Amanda Testa: [Laughs]

Tâmara Castelo: Tried it, tried it on me a lot of times, and it works!

Amanda Testa: I love that.

Tâmara Castelo: I just give you what works. [Laughs]

Amanda Testa: Yeah, I think it’s great to have that toolkit so that you know, let me just try these things and get a solution.

Tâmara Castelo: Yeah, yeah, yeah. A solution that works.

Amanda Testa: Yes! Right.

Tâmara Castelo: You know, that breathes five times, three times, one time, what the hell, man, I’m going, and I cannot breathe. I cannot do it!

Amanda Testa: I can bite my fingers though!

Tâmara Castelo: Yeah, I can bite my fingers, though, you know? Something quick. Give me something quick. So, that’s quick.

Amanda Testa: I love that.

Tâmara Castelo: Yeah, me too. [Laughs]

25:07

Amanda Testa: I’m wondering, too, tell me a little bit more about -- I would love how, obviously, we’re talking about holistic care and all of these amazing tools to support your body and your being, I would love if you have any rituals that you might want to share around sexual wellness or our sexual energy because that’s a big part of what I love to talk about on this podcast.

Tâmara Castelo: Ooh, yeah! Love it.

Amanda Testa: Yes, would love to hear your insight about that.

Tâmara Castelo: Yes, so, I talk a little bit about that. I talk a lot about it, actually. I have a little -- 90% of my practice is women, so yeah, and I have a lot of breast cancer and sex with breast cancer is a bit difficult, and post-breast cancer is a lot difficult. So, actually, I have a protocol in my clinic about that, and I have a lot of patients with endometriosis, too. When it’s really painful to have sex, so we developed with a physiotherapist. We have a lot of people working on the mobility of the vagina and everything. So, it’s beautiful actually.

26:03

So, I’ll talk about rituals for that part of the body. So, the main thing that I tell all of my patients is that sexual energy, like any energy, has to be worked on it. It don’t come from God above. So, you have to do something, yeah. It’s like going to the gym. You don't want to go to the gym. Some people do, but normally it’s like, yes, I have two people that want to go. But normally you have to understand that this energy is our creative energy. In Traditional Chinese Medicine, it’s allocated in the area that is called the Dantien, and it’s the center of and the flow of all the creative energy. So, all of the ideas (the creating, the force, the life force, the work force) comes from there, from the place between the belly button and your bone near the vagina. So, that part.

27:00

So, that energy, when you work a lot, is depleted. It’s this energy. Sexual energy is the gripping force energy of life. It’s not just sexual energy. Sexual is a word that we use, but it’s like a life force energy, and when you're not connected to life, you're not connected to sexual energy, and in the beginning of our conversation, we were talking about that. People don't even know what they eat yesterday. They are not connected to themselves. They are not connected to their surroundings. So, they are not connected to their body, to their energy. So, the sexual energy goes in and has to be cultivated.

So, one of the rituals that I talk about with my patients, and I talk about in my talks, and everything is to focus on their area and to put your hands there and to move your pelvis. You have to move it. Energy moves energy, and you have to move your energy, and you have to have time to do it. Otherwise you have to book it on your schedule because you don't have time. If you don't find time, you don't go, you don't do it. You have to take your hands like this, one above the other, and you have to put it on the thing. You have to breathe and make your belly move, and then you have to move your hips like circular movements just to have your Kundalini energy to get moving, and you have to do this every day for five minutes like a ritual, and then connect yourself.

28:28

You don't have to think of anything sexual because if you do it correctly and you do it every day, it will arrive just like this. In one week, you will feel it. It’s just that simple.

Amanda Testa: It’s so true. That’s what I think is so key about the practices is it’s the doing of the thing that gives you the result, and that is so hard for people.

Tâmara Castelo: Do it, do it, do it, do it, do it!

Amanda Testa: [Laughs]

Tâmara Castelo: It’s not like do it once.

Amanda Testa: Yes, I know!

Tâmara Castelo: “I know, I did it on Sunday!” And I said, “Yeah, man. This is Friday! Every day. Five minutes.”

Amanda Testa: Mm-hmm.

Tâmara Castelo: It’s like breathing. If you stop breathing, you’ll be dead by Friday. So, it’s the same.

Amanda Testa: Right!

29:04

Tâmara Castelo: You have to maintain the energy because it’s like a life force. You have to take care of it, and you have to move it. It’s difficult because people are not disciplined.

Amanda Testa: Yes.

Tâmara Castelo: But when they understand it, it’s just the first time it’s difficult. Then they’ll get there.

Amanda Testa: Mm-hmm. I think, like you say, it’s when they understand it, A, and then, too, when they get the effects, when they're getting the result and they're feeling good.

Tâmara Castelo: Yeah.

Amanda Testa: And they're like, “Oh, yes, I definitely want to do this!”

Tâmara Castelo: Right, “It’s there! Oh! I’m not dead,” they said to me.

Amanda Testa: Yes!

Tâmara Castelo: I say, “Of course you're not dead. You’re just not moving!” [Laughs] “You're not dead. Everything is there. You have all the potential inside of you.” “Oh, no, this is already dead, doctor,” they say to me. They say, “It’s not dead. There.”

Amanda Testa: Mm-hmm.

Tâmara Castelo: You have to touch it. You have to move it.

Amanda Testa: Activate it.

Tâmara Castelo: You have to want it. Yeah, it’s there, you just have to touch the buttons. Put on, and then do it every day just for five minutes. “I know you're there. Hi. Let’s move.” You don't have to do nothing. Just be aware. Be connected. It’s the connection, that’s the problem.

Amanda Testa: Yes, yes.

30:13

Tâmara Castelo: People don't find time just to call somebody they love. They don't find time to connect with themselves. It’s difficult. It’s complicated.

Amanda Testa: Yes.

Tâmara Castelo: A lot of people are talking about it, so eventually to come in. [Laughs]

Amanda Testa: Yes, and I think, too, it’s a good practice. That’s one of the reasons I started a pleasure membership is so a couple times a month you get together, you learn the practices, you do them together, then you can go home and do them on your own, right?

Tâmara Castelo: Yeah.

Amanda Testa: Because it’s so important. I love that so much. And it’s fun. Like you say, once you get the hang of them, once you learn them, once you do them for a while, then they just become part of your routine. You just do them when you don't think about it as much anymore, right?

Tâmara Castelo: Yeah, 21 days is all it takes to get a habit. So, I think it’s just like that, though. And then when you do it, it’s really cool. People are like, “Ah, you know!” I say, “Good for you!” [Laughs]

Amanda Testa: Yay!

31:08

Tâmara Castelo: “It’s good actually,” they say. “And I don't remember my breath, and I don't remember --,” and I said beautiful because it’s part of life, you know? And it’s a grip of life, and pleasure is really important in these times because it’s one of the tools that don't require medicine, that don't require nothing. It’s a natural antidepressant. It lowers cortisol, puts your blood flowing, lowers hypertension, gets your sleep better, allows your brain to think better. All of it’s important.

Amanda Testa: Yeah, I’m wondering, too, just speaking to one of the things that I’m curious about as well is you mention sleep quite a few times, and I know oftentimes that can be such a challenging thing, and I love the couple of rituals that you shared that you do at night, but I’m wondering if maybe there’s one more great ritual that you love to do to really enhance a good night’s sleep.

Tâmara Castelo: Yeah, they don't like my night rituals, people.

Amanda Testa: [Laughs]

Tâmara Castelo: Yeah, they don't like it. They don't like it because they don't like my time schedule at night, but I will share it, but they don't like it. [Laughs]

Amanda Testa: Yes, let’s hear.

32:13

Tâmara Castelo: So, it’s important. First thing: you have to be in bed early. So, early, let’s define it. If you wake up at 7:00 AM, you have to be at bed at least at 9:30. They don't like it because it’s early. If you want to sleep, you have to think of sleep like you're in a train station. So, if you get that train, the train of 9:30, you’ll get through until 7:00, and then if you don't get the train, the other trains are only at 1:00 AM, and the trains are always stopping. You know that train that’s always stopping in the -- yeah, so I say to patients, “Well, but you don't get yawning at any time?” “Oh, yeah, I get like 9:00. Oh, but at 9:00, I have a lot to do,” and I said, “Well, when you get yawning, your body is telling you, “Get to bed!” So you need a ritual for that. You just need to listen to your yawning.” Just like that.

33:14

But yawning aside, this is an important part because your body will tell you when they want to sleep, even if you disagree. Normally, it will tell you. You start yawning one time, yawning two times, and it was telling you, “Man, I’m tired. I need to go to bed,” and sometimes it’s 9:00. Sometimes it’s 9:15. Sometimes it’s 8:30. You don't like it, but sometimes it’s needed. It needs to sleep. Your brain needs to sleep, and it’s telling you, “I need to sleep, man! I need to sleep,” and you have to go to sleep. You have to respect your body. It’s the only body you have, so this is important.

Amanda Testa: Mm-hmm.

Tâmara Castelo: But if you’re missing that train, there are some things you can do. One of my favorite things in the world is soaking the feet in hot, hot water. It’s not the same as taking a bath. Please, the important thing is to make sure that one part of the body is more cold and another part of the body is more warm.

34:10

So, taking a shower is not the same thing. So, soaking your feet with really hot, hot water with a lot of salts (food salt, normal salt) with the music, lower the lights for about ten minutes, and breathe only through your nose (in and out, mouth closed). This will help you a lot, but you should take the first train. It’s more efficient.

Amanda Testa: I love that. Even while you were saying it, I was just visualizing myself. I love going to bed. I love it.

Tâmara Castelo: Me too! I yawn at 9:00, and I say to my kids, “I’m going. I’m yawning. I’m sorry.” “No, mama! I’m still doing this!” “Ciao! I’m going! I’m going!” I’m not losing my train, otherwise I don't sleep. So, sleep, for me, is my most sacred thing in the world.

Amanda Testa: Yes.

Tâmara Castelo: Like, I cannot -- nobody messes with my sleep.

Amanda Testa: I love that.

Tâmara Castelo: I’m terrible. Yeah, for me, it’s sacred.

35:05

Amanda Testa: I think that’s good to note, too, for the people listening who might have kids or might have other people in the family. How can you set that boundary that they will respect you doing what you need to do for yourself?

Tâmara Castelo: Oh! Oh, “No, ciao.”

Amanda Testa: Yeah.

Tâmara Castelo: Listen, I have two kids. My boyfriend has three kids. So, there are five kids. For me, it’s, “Ciao. I tried to put you to bed one hour ago. I tried. I tried to tell you the story, to put you to bed, to give you a good night’s sleep and kiss. You don't want it? Okay, so now I’m going to bed.” “No, mommy!” “Sorry, I love you. Mwah! Going,” and I go. I’m terrible. With my sleep, I’m terrible. I’m terrible because if I don't sleep, I’m aging bad, I’m doing a mass out of my brain, and I need to think because I’m a doctor, so I have a lot of people to do tomorrow and I have a lot of things to do.

Amanda Testa: Yes!

36:00

Tâmara Castelo: And I like being well in my brains. I like to think straight. I want to get my emotional health okay. I suffered from anxiety a lot, so I will not do it again. I’m okay. I do it once. I will not repeat it ever again, please. So, I maintain my health by sleeping a lot and respecting my boundaries. So, if my kids want a good mother, a good mother is a sleeping mother, not a non-sleeping mother. A non-sleeping mother is a mother that will yell, will not have the patience, will not have the tolerance, will not have the pleasure, will not be fun, will not be a laughing mother. I don't like to be that person.

Amanda Testa: Yeah.

Tâmara Castelo: So, sometimes to not be that person I have to set boundaries. They already know. So, they know -- actually they said to me, “Mommy it’s 9:00. Maybe I should go to bed.” I said, “Maybe you should go to bed. Yeah.” Now they learn. Even my dog is sleeping. He knows. He knows, man. He knows!

Amanda Testa: [Laughs] Yes, I love that.

Tâmara Castelo: So, it’s important for you to explain to the kids, “I need to sleep because I want to wake up tomorrow and be okay with myself and be good with my anxiety,” and they understand, and you have to sleep, you know? I explain to them a lot of stories. I do a lot of research for my book, and one of the research I did was about sleeping, in adolescence and with kids. I was telling to my eldest kid, I was telling her, “You know that they did a study that average of the grades of the people who sleep 2 more hours than the others were 35% more just by sleeping because the power of concentration, memorization was double, just by sleeping two hours more. That’s the difference between going to bed at 8:00 or going to bed at 10:00. It doesn't seem like much, but it’s the difference between entering medical school or no. It’s a difference from defining your future just by sleeping.”

Amanda Testa: Yeah, that’s pretty powerful.

Tâmara Castelo: So, it's crazy. Yeah!

Amanda Testa: [Laughs]

38:10

Tâmara Castelo: So, I explain that to them. No, I love my children, but I explain them, then, like I do to my patients, the implications. Then they understand, they do it normally. Actually my eldest sometimes tell me. She wakes up. “Ma,” and I will always take her to school, and she said to me, “Today I’m going to bed at 8:30,” and I said, “Why?” “Tomorrow I have my chemistry exam, so today I’m going to bed at 8:30 to sleep well, like 11 hours, like my brains will be perfect tomorrow.” So, she uses the hack, and it worked!

Amanda Testa: Uh-huh.

Tâmara Castelo: So, yeah, you have to explain to them, and then they like boundaries.

Amanda Testa: Yeah.

Tâmara Castelo: I love boundaries.

Amanda Testa: Yeah.

Tâmara Castelo: It’s an act of love.

Amanda Testa: Right, it’s so true. I think I remember reading some study about kids, and they did a study of the caregiver and the kids, and in one environment they were just in an open field, and they could just run and do whatever they want, but the kids tend to just stay close to the caregiver. And then, alternatively, when they were in a fenced park, the kids were all running around and doing their thing. [Laughs] They liked that little bit of boundary, right?

39:23

Tâmara Castelo: Boundary is important. It’s caring for oneself and for the other.

Amanda Testa: Yeah, and I think that’s an important thing to note because, especially with regards to our health and wellbeing, there are so many people that are just giving and giving and don’t set that boundary, and then they find themselves sick or ill or all the things.

Tâmara Castelo: Yeah, and then they are explaining to their kids by doing that that that’s normal, so they're perpetuating sickness, which is terrible. It’s terrible education.

Amanda Testa: Mm-hmm. Yeah.

Tâmara Castelo: Boundaries are important.

40:00

Amanda Testa: The key of boundaries, yes. Well, I’m wondering, too, I feel like I just love all your wisdom and you’re sharing such amazing, digestible tips that are so important. I’m wondering, too, maybe if there’s a question that you wished that I would have asked that I didn't ask or any other things that you feel are important to share?

Tâmara Castelo: No, I think it’s cool. For now I’m okay.

Amanda Testa: Yeah.

Tâmara Castelo: I think it’s cool. I think the main thing is maybe one thing, I think. For maintaining good health, I’m crazy about sleep. I’m crazy. I’m obsessed. So, sleeping is important. Eight hours don't work for everybody, so sometimes it’s 9. Sometimes it’s 9:30. It depends. You have to know yourself to understand. So, give time to know yourself, to understand how many hours you do need. That’s important. If you are an adult, you should know it by now. Know it. You have to know it. If you don't know it, you should take a weekend off just to see, “How do I feel with that 9 hours? How do I feel with 9:30? How do I feel with 8:30?” Just to see what’s your normal time.

41:08

The other thing that’s really important: take five minutes for yourself every day, please. That’s important to maintain health and maintain grounded and with yourself and with your purpose because lack of purpose is the main issue for depression. So, connection is important.

Amanda Testa: Thank you so much.

Tâmara Castelo: Thank you!

Amanda Testa: Yes, I’m wondering, too, if you can share with everyone where to connect with you and where they can find your book and all the good things.

Tâmara Castelo: Okay, so, in my website it’s www.tamara-castelo.com, and then Instagram: @tamara__castelo without any accents.

Amanda Testa: Yes, and I’ll also make sure to put everything in the show notes --

Tâmara Castelo: Thank you!

Amanda Testa: -- so that you can find it there.

Tâmara Castelo: Okay, thanks!

Amanda Testa: Thank you so much again for being here!

Tâmara Castelo: Thank you!

Amanda Testa: Thank you all for listening. We will see you next time!
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42:03

Thank you for listening to the Find Your Feminine Fire podcast! If you loved this episode, please go ahead and forward it right now to someone who you know would love it, and if you’ve not yet had a chance to leave us a rave review on Apple Podcasts, please make sure you rate and review if you enjoyed the podcast as well as make sure to subscribe so you never miss an episode. Thanks for listening, and we’ll see you next week!

[Fun, Empowering Music]EPISODE 255: Tâmara Castelo

[Fun, Empowering Music]

Amanda Testa: Hello, and welcome to the Find Your Feminine Fire podcast. I am your host, Amanda Testa. I am a sex, love, and relationship coach, and in this podcast, my guests and I talk sex, love, and relationships, and everything that lights you up from the inside out. Welcome!

_______

Hey, what’s up? It’s Amanda! If you're enjoying this pod, and you know you are ready to say yes to more pleasure, and you are just wanting to know, “How the hell do I do it,” well, you are in luck because as of now, we have spots available in The Pleasure Foundation which is my pleasure membership where twice a month you get an amazing practice that teaches you how to tap into your body, to become more connected to yourself, and to learn the art of sacred self-care. So, if this is something you're interested in, go to www.amandatesta.com/tpf (as in The Pleasure Foundation) and we will see you there!

_______

Have you ever noticed how even performing the smallest, little routine tasks, rituals, if you will, (you know I love rituals) can have a ripple effect --

1:09

Tâmara Castelo: Me too!

Amanda Testa: -- that is the result of big transformation? I am excited for today’s podcast because if you know me and have been listening to the pod, you know how much I preach about the power of rituals, and I love that combination of simple plus doable for lasting results, and today on the pod, I have a very special guest, and she actually has written numerous books. The most recent book being on rituals. So, I’m talking today with Tâmara Castelo, a specialist in Chinese Traditional Medicine. She not only works with patients in person, but she also treats a lot of things like sleep disorders, thyroid issues, anxiety, migraines, all the things, very holistically, and she’s written numerous books, but her newest book is called The Power of Rituals, and I’m so excited to talk with her today. So, welcome, welcome! Thank you so much.

Tâmara Castelo: Thank you! Thanks for having me.

Amanda Testa: Yes, and I’d love it if you wouldn't mind just sharing a little bit about kind of what excites you the most about the work that you do.

2:04

Tâmara Castelo: Oh, boy, that’s a big question! Everything excites me about the work I do. [Laughs]

Amanda Testa: [Laughs]

Tâmara Castelo: I love my work. I have the pleasure and the honor of directing a big, big team. We are 30 these days, so I’m really proud. I have two clinics in Portugal. We do a really good job (I think, I hope) with a holistic practice. Not only we treat patients, and we treat their life in a way, changing their habits, their eating habits, their sleeping habits, their everyday habits (or rituals, as you can call it). So yeah, the thing that I love most about my job is the transformation that occurs in the person. For me, it’s the most rewarding thing in the world because you can make a change and you can see it. So, it’s beautiful.

Amanda Testa: I love that, and I also so appreciate the holistic approach that you have.

Tâmara Castelo: Thank you.

2:59

Amanda Testa: Because from what I’ve read about and just even digesting a little bit of your book, it’s really encompassing everything because, really, when we’re trying to make a change in one area, often, there are numerous things attached to that.

Tâmara Castelo: It’s impossible! Sometimes the people say to me, “But everything is connected,” and I say, “Yes, I’m sorry!” [Laughs] Everything is connected. You have to do it all - the sleep, the food, your mind, your body. You are together with you and the world. So…

Amanda Testa: Yes.

Tâmara Castelo: We have to catch it all.

Amanda Testa: And I think one of the things that I would love if you would share a little bit more just from your own perspective, you know, kind of on your relationship with ritual and what has led you to be so passionate about helping other people adopt simple rituals.

Tâmara Castelo: I think it’s anxiety. I was really, really anxious when I was a little girl. For me, it was terrible. Being a child was really a nightmare to me. So, I was really anxious. Then I found out I have a thyroid disease, so I was anxious for a reason. [Laughs]

4:03

So, I was like 18 when I found out, but it’s been 10 years since that year -- since I was 8 years old until my 18th birthday. I was really anxious all the time, and the little things make me feel more grounded, like my grandmother was perfect to do that. She’d light a candle, breathe with me, she’d put the hands on my shoulders for me to chill, and little things that make me feel in my own kin. I don't know if you ever felt, severely, anxiety.

Amanda Testa: Yes.

Tâmara Castelo: But it’s really helpful, and I think my connection to ritual began there. And so, it was really, really at a young age because I wasn't feeling good, and I had a lot of sleep disorders, and these little things like she gives me something to smell. At that point it was 30 years ago. Essential oils of lavender, and then I smell that, and she put it on my pillow, and that helped, you know?

5:09

It really helped, and for me, it was the connection that I lacked, and then that connection allowed me to be really more grounded, more breathing, more in, and the anxiety got better. So, yeah, rituals for me are that connection with yourself and with the world. Those little things that keep you here.

Amanda Testa: I love that because it’s very easy to not be here, and like you say --

Tâmara Castelo: Oh, yeah.

Amanda Testa: -- especially in just the busy lives so many of us lead, they’re so full of stress and urgency and rush. Yeah.

Tâmara Castelo: And sometimes I ask my patients -- nowadays I do a lot of cancer patients because I have a Masters in Oncology, and it’s been my last years I’ve been doing that, and I always ask them what you do in your life these past two days makes you really, really happy, and they look at me like they don't even know what they do the last two days.

6:08

Amanda Testa: Yeah.

Tâmara Castelo: Like, I don't even know what I have to -- the lunch I had yesterday, I don't remember. So, it’s like this, you know. You go through life cruising, not living it, and it’s really difficult because the stress and the anxiety and the insomnia and all the patterns of your mind are completely disconnected because you’re not here. Your brain is completely imbalanced, and you can see that in the blood tests. You can see that in the cortisol levels and in our adrenaline levels. It’s biochemical which is crazy amazing.

Amanda Testa: Yeah.

Tâmara Castelo: So, yeah.

Amanda Testa: So, I’m curious, too, you know, based on all of your years of study and your training in Traditional Chinese Medicine as well as your Masters in Oncology, how would you say that kind of informs your philosophy around how you treat and approach your patients and just, in general, supporting others to live their healthiest lives?

7:03

Tâmara Castelo: Yeah, normally I tend to explain to them how their body works because everybody is a body.

Amanda Testa: Yeah.

Tâmara Castelo: Nobody has the same body, so normally, I explain, “Your body likes this. You have to do this. You have to do that.” So, I examine the patient. I’ve known my patients for many years, but when they're new I look at them, I look at their exams, I look at their life history, mother, father, everything. You have to look at the big picture to see which lineage, which family, what happened when you were a child. You have to know everything because it’s a person, and you got your biochemistry is in every step of the way, so you have to know it all from your birth until that moment.

So, I have to know it all, and then I start to design a picture in my mind how the body works with a lot of Ayurvedic and Traditional Chinese Medicine and biotypes, and start to cross it off, and then I begin to explain to the patient, “Well, your body’s like this. It likes that.”

8:09

And I explain to them, “Well, you have this because of this.” I talk a lot in my appointments. They're one hour and a half, and I talk, talk, talk, talk, and then when they comprehend, it’s easy. They do what I want because they understand. [Laughs]

Amanda Testa: Yeah.

Tâmara Castelo: So, I say, “It’s like this, and now we have to do this because of this.” And sometimes it’s really difficult because I have to go to diet changes that are really tough. I have to change completely the time and the schedule of the work, and if they understand, they'll do it because then they will see results in one week.

Amanda Testa: Yeah.

Tâmara Castelo: And then they’ll stick to it.

Amanda Testa: Yes.

Tâmara Castelo: And even if you say, “Okay, now it’s okay. You can slow down,” they will still do it. I say, “You can slow down!” “No, I’m good!” “No, no, but you can ride it out.” “No, no, no, no! I’m really good!” I say, “Okay, go do it!”

9:03

So, you know, you have to explain to people their body. They have to know their body because they don't know their body. Everything is disconnected so they don't know. So, if you explain to them, they will understand, “Okay.” I will give you an example.

A woman that comes to the office, the legs are swollen at the end of the day, and she feels heavy, and she feels tired, and she feels bruised a lot (you know, when you touch anything and you feel bruised in the legs), and you feel craving about sweets, and your hair is starting to fall. This is the biotype. A lot of people get these things. You have constipation. You don’t go to the toilet a lot. This is really common here in Portugal. It’s a biotype. It’s really simple to resolve all these issues. You just have to change this and this and this and this. They do that in one month. Everything is solved. And they say, “Wow! That’s a miracle!” It’s not a miracle. You just give your body what it needs. Just know yourself because we are all -- the biochemistry’s a lot alike, but if you just look at it and you do it perfect, the body works amazingly. But you have to explain that.

10:15

Amanda Testa: Right.

Tâmara Castelo: If you don't explain it to them, they’ll do nothing.

Amanda Testa: Yes.

Tâmara Castelo: [Laughs] It’s terrible.

Amanda Testa: So, I’m wondering if you wouldn't mind sharing a little bit more about what a biotype is and how people can figure out what that is for them?

Tâmara Castelo: Of course, in the book --

Amanda Testa: Yes!

Tâmara Castelo: -- you can cross it. [Laughs]

Amanda Testa: Yes, yes.

Tâmara Castelo: Well, the biotype, you have types of blood, and you have types of chemistry, and you have your mother and your father, and the people are normally divided in three big groups for the Traditional Chinese Medicine and for Ayurvedic Medicine and for a lot of medicines, actually. So it’s like the more common -- we have all the three groups, of course, because we share a lot of genes, and we share a lot of biochemistry together. We all are the same species, of course, but sometimes the behavior of our organs and our chemistry is more to the right, more to the left, or more to the center, and you can see that in people.

11:11

People that have the tendency to be lean, or the tendency to get big fat in the belly, or the tendency to sleep a lot, or the tendency to don't sleep at all, and you can see that in babies even. It’s completely obvious because there are babies that sleep perfect and a lot of hours, and a lot of babies that don't like to take naps. They don't nap. They don't like it. It’s like their biotype. Nothing to do because, “Oh, one of my children sleep a lot, one of my children --,” there’s nothing wrong with the baby. The baby don't sleep. It’s their biotype. Some of them don't sleep at noon. Whatever. Some are good. Some people are perfect with their stomach. They can just eat everything. Some people can't eat nothing because they are very sensitive.

12:01

And the Chinese and the Indians, they put little groups about these particularities, and they find out they are not particularities. They're actually types.

Amanda Testa: Mm. Mm-hmm.

Tâmara Castelo: It’s beautiful. So, you can divide it, and it’s really, really simple. So, you can find out your tendency biotype because you have a lot of the other, and then when you find it, you can find what to eat, how to sleep, what to use, and to promote your health in a more easier way because if you go and you see your body type is this (normally it’s two out of three, but one is more important), you can go to the list, and you can see, “This is good for me, and this is not good for me.” And even if it’s small changes you can see in your body (more energy, more sleep, whatever you need). The balance will be restored if you work on your body type. And this is something you can do alone. You don't need anybody. You just need to see what your biotype, and that is really simple to do because we don't have a lot of systems. We just have the most important: the digestive system, the sleeping system, the working of the bowels, and the mind. With this, you can know practically everything about the person. [Laughs]

13:18

Amanda Testa: So, I’m wondering, I guess, are there rituals that are effective for people no matter what their biotype is?

Tâmara Castelo: Oh, of course.

Amanda Testa: I know there are probably certain ones for certain biotypes.

Tâmara Castelo: Yes, of course.

Amanda Testa: What are some of your favorite simple rituals?

Tâmara Castelo: Ooh, simple, I love. I have my morning rituals that I love that I do every day in my life. I can share, and my night rituals I can share, too.

So, my morning rituals are everyday when I wake up. When I wake up, before I open my eyes, I always think of a word (the first word that comes to mind everyday), and no matter the word, I always focus on it, and I just let it fill. And if it’s a good word, I empower it, and if it’s not so good (a feeling that I don't like), I just dissolve it. I drink a lot of water when I wake up, and then I just clean it out.

14:08

And then the other ritual I do in the morning, I do the word thing every day of my life, and then the other thing is my intention of the day. I do it every day in my life. I sit. I don't eat in the morning because my biotype is not good for eating in the morning. My stomach is terrible, so I sit down a bit for a minute, and I focus on my day, and normally, I make a list of what I want to achieve in that day.

I can give you an example. I want to be focused. I want to be clear. Because I manage a big group -- this was today. I’m telling you what I write today. I think I remember because I write, and then I throw it away. I want to be clear. I want to be good. I want to be with perseverance -- I think that’s the word -- because I had a big meeting, and it was difficult, and I just empower myself with that words, and I read it like seven or eight times, I breathe, and I go. So, pop, pop, pop, pop. This is my two rituals, and I do it every day.

15:07

Then when it’s the full moon, the other one I do, I do a lot with a lot of things. At night every day I light candles. You cannot see it because it’s far away, but I have an altar in my house, and every day in the morning I light it up, and then I light it up, too, just to be thankful about today and with my patients and my staff and everything and my children and to protect my family because I like that, and I feel connected to them, and I remember them because when you do a ritual and you think about people you love, you also connect with them and you remember them. That’s important. So, I remember my family, the ones that I love. And then when I go to bed, I always ask my subconscious to bring me what I need to know and take all that I don't need to know away and give me a good night to sleep, every day. And then I do one more specific, but this is my routine, and it goes to everybody, and it’s helpful for everybody because it allows your brain to have a motive, and brains are organs. They have to have something to do.

16:19

Amanda Testa: Yes.

Tâmara Castelo: You have to -- yeah, otherwise they just be stupid and give you crazy ideas. [Laughs] It’s important to keep this under control!

Amanda Testa: Yes.

Tâmara Castelo: [Laughs] Yes.

Amanda Testa: So, speaking to that, I appreciate that ritual you shared earlier to kind of dissolve some of the toxic thoughts that sometimes come, but what would be some other maybe simple rituals that you could share around that? When you have the thoughts that are coming up that aren't supportive or the toxic thoughts, those type of things. What could you share around that?

Tâmara Castelo: Right. Dumping. Dumping is the most beautiful thing in the world. So, every year, I have a big, big Instagram group that I lead, and it goes with my name. It’s Tamaristas.

17:05

It’s like 800 people I lead for a week normally (three/four times a year), and I lead them normally with rituals and everything, and the dumping ritual is the most symptom -- the one that they prefer because we like the topic, but you can do that when you are with the topic. You know, on your mind and your day’s circling around like ka-ka-ka-ka, ka-ka-ka-ka, and your brain is like blah, that’s the topic, okay? Don’t do it.

Yeah, if you have one already, you don't have to ask for one. And then you just jot down whatever is on your mind. It’s like a download from a computer. We just write it, and it doesn't have to make sense at all. It can be random words. It’s not important. The important thing is you have to pick up the words in your brain, and then you have to take it out. It’s like taking out the trash, and you do that for about five minutes. You have to put the timer - it’s important. And then you’re dumping, dumping, dumping, dumping, dumping, and then you breathe, and then you see there’s a new stupid virus in your mind, and then when you’ve got it, then you go five minutes more - pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa. It doesn't matter. The paper is not for reading. Nobody will read it. It’s going directly to the garbage. So, it’s just for your brain to get a moment of discharge, and this is so helpful. It saved my life one million times, you know?

18:32

So, for negative thoughts, it’s amazing. So, it’s really helpful, and a pen, everybody has one. So, it doesn't cost money. Paper. Go, go, go, go, go. It’s not the same when writing on the computer. Sometimes people ask me. You have to write it by hand because the connection of the hand and the brain is important. I don't know why, but it helps, and then you have to take it all out, and then you sit for one minute. You see if there’s another. If not, it’s okay. Five minutes more. Dump it. The words don't have to make a sentence. Just words, words, words, words. It can be cats. It can be yellow. It can be bitch. Whatever. It’s just letting the stress go from your brain, and eventually, when you feel more calmer, then you can begin the process of putting something constructive and positive to your brain, because when you're in the circle of negative thoughts, it’s very difficult to think of something positive.

19:28

People say that sometimes, “Oh, think of something positive.” Oh, if that was easy, I will do it, but that’s not easy. That’s not an easy twist. [Laughs] So, we have to do something in between.

So, normally to calm your brain down, to put your cortisol down, to put your thoughts down, dumping is really cool or breathing exercises are really cool too.

Amanda Testa: Yes, yes. I love that. I love how when you write like that, it can just be -- it’s crazy the things that come out, right? And it’s good to just write all the things that you're even thinking in your head like, “This is dumb. Why am I writing? Blah, blah, blah, I’m writing. I’m writing, I’m writing.” But just let it go, and then eventually it just starts to pour out.

Tâmara Castelo: Yeah, yeah, yeah! I write that all the time. “I’m writing, I’m writing!” I do that a lot of times. “I’m writing. I don’t know what I’m writing, but I’m writing.” [Laughs] But it’s really amazing. It’s like freedom, you know? It’s free. You can free your mind and everybody. Because it’s a lot of stress, you know? It’s stress in your mind, stress outside. It’s a lot of difficult, a difficult century.

20:26

Amanda Testa: Yes, I love to do that. I like to do it in the morning, and I actually got it’s like a writing tablet. It’s the best thing ever, and I love it because, for me, it works. I write and I write, and I write, and then I can have hundreds and hundreds of pages in the same tablet.

Tâmara Castelo: It’s beautiful.

Amanda Testa: It’s so great.

Tâmara Castelo: Yeah, but the thing you have to have it by hand, no matter what.

Amanda Testa: Yeah, it’s written by hand. It’s written by hand.

Tâmara Castelo: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, whatever, but the hand is important. The hand movement is important.

Amanda Testa: Yeah. Mm-hmm.

Tâmara Castelo: Because the hand connects to the brain, and it’s important.

Amanda Testa: Yes.

Tâmara Castelo: So, this, no, but this? It’s amazing.

Amanda Testa: Yeah, and I like -- because I think, often, what I’ll do is when I first wake up in the morning, that’s always a lot of excitement and energy and sometimes anxiety and all the things. That’s when it comes up for me. So, I’m like okay, let’s just write down all the things so that you can figure out what is --

21:17

Tâmara Castelo: Yeah, but you can do an exercise in bed if you do have anxiety in the morning.

Amanda Testa: Yeah.

Tâmara Castelo: You want me to tell you?

Amanda Testa: Sure.

Tâmara Castelo: Okay, so, you can activate your vagus nerve. So it’s really important to do that in the bed. It’s when you have anxiety, like wake up like this. So, if you do that, if any of your listeners do that, you have to do a simple exercise. You do it three times. It will lower your diaphragm, and it will activate your vagus nerve. So, it’s really, really good. It de-stresses your body immediately. It’s amazing, so you have to breathe in, mouth closed. You’ll do it with me. Go. And then you lock your breathing, and you do a lot of strength like you're going to poop, but don't poop. Until you can handle it, and then when you need to breathe, you breathe, and you lay low.

Amanda Testa: [Exhales] Yes.

22:16

Tâmara Castelo: Three times. If you do that in the morning -- whatever the time. When you feel a lot of senses, immediately, immediately lower your blood pressure. Immediately lower your heart rate. Immediately, then lock your muscles. It’s immediate, and it’s physical.

Amanda Testa: Yes.

Tâmara Castelo: You don't need to do work in your brain.

Amanda Testa: Yes, I love that.

Tâmara Castelo: You can work -- yeah, yeah, me too! [Laughs]

Amanda Testa: I love the somatic practices that work so quickly because, oftentimes, when we are in those states, we can’t -- we don't often know what it is that we need to do. So just something simple that you can practice so then when you do find yourself in that state, you could get there and do it.

Tâmara Castelo: That one, you do it, and it’s automatic.

Amanda Testa: Yeah. Mm-hmm.

Tâmara Castelo: Because it’s physical.

Amanda Testa: Yeah.

Tâmara Castelo: You just push your diaphragm to your nerve so it’s more physical to kind of get it, you know?

Amanda Testa: Yes, yes.

Tâmara Castelo: So, it’s physical. It’s your sympathetic system’s lower down, and your parasympathetic opens up and then it’s a physical thing.

Amanda Testa: Yes.

23:15

Tâmara Castelo: It’s beautiful. So, you don't have to control it by brain. It’s amazing for people who have panic attacks, people who have a lot of anxiety, fear. It’s really important, too. So, any state of really, really tension, it works amazingly.

Amanda Testa: Yeah.

Tâmara Castelo: And you feel it. It’s immediate.

Amanda Testa: Yes.

Tâmara Castelo: So, it’s good.

Amanda Testa: I love that.

Tâmara Castelo: Gives you control.

Amanda Testa: I love that. And I think, too, because, you know, a lot of the work that I do is traumatic trauma resolution, and so, a lot of those simple somatic techniques to get your parasympathetic nervous system going, to immediately shift something, there are so many great ways to do that.

Tâmara Castelo: That’s amazing.

Amanda Testa: And so, I love sharing those. I love that one that you just shared.

Tâmara Castelo: Another one that’s beautiful when it’s a redline -- when this one is not working properly, you can bite your little finger, okay? Mm, and then you do it. You bite it. When you have coming to a panic attack, you mm, and it stops immediately.

24:14

It’s a really powerful acupressure point, but the most amazing way to do it is with yourself, of course. It’s bite. In your tooth just like this, and then mm, give it a bite.

Amanda Testa: I love it. You're good! We’ll try these for sure!

Tâmara Castelo: Yeah. Yeah!

Amanda Testa: I love that.

Tâmara Castelo: I’m the master of anxiety so you do it! I have a lot of them.

Amanda Testa: [Laughs]

Tâmara Castelo: Tried it, tried it on me a lot of times, and it works!

Amanda Testa: I love that.

Tâmara Castelo: I just give you what works. [Laughs]

Amanda Testa: Yeah, I think it’s great to have that toolkit so that you know, let me just try these things and get a solution.

Tâmara Castelo: Yeah, yeah, yeah. A solution that works.

Amanda Testa: Yes! Right.

Tâmara Castelo: You know, that breathes five times, three times, one time, what the hell, man, I’m going, and I cannot breathe. I cannot do it!

Amanda Testa: I can bite my fingers though!

Tâmara Castelo: Yeah, I can bite my fingers, though, you know? Something quick. Give me something quick. So, that’s quick.

Amanda Testa: I love that.

Tâmara Castelo: Yeah, me too. [Laughs]

25:07

Amanda Testa: I’m wondering, too, tell me a little bit more about -- I would love how, obviously, we’re talking about holistic care and all of these amazing tools to support your body and your being, I would love if you have any rituals that you might want to share around sexual wellness or our sexual energy because that’s a big part of what I love to talk about on this podcast.

Tâmara Castelo: Ooh, yeah! Love it.

Amanda Testa: Yes, would love to hear your insight about that.

Tâmara Castelo: Yes, so, I talk a little bit about that. I talk a lot about it, actually. I have a little -- 90% of my practice is women, so yeah, and I have a lot of breast cancer and sex with breast cancer is a bit difficult, and post-breast cancer is a lot difficult. So, actually, I have a protocol in my clinic about that, and I have a lot of patients with endometriosis, too. When it’s really painful to have sex, so we developed with a physiotherapist. We have a lot of people working on the mobility of the vagina and everything. So, it’s beautiful actually.

26:03

So, I’ll talk about rituals for that part of the body. So, the main thing that I tell all of my patients is that sexual energy, like any energy, has to be worked on it. It don’t come from God above. So, you have to do something, yeah. It’s like going to the gym. You don't want to go to the gym. Some people do, but normally it’s like, yes, I have two people that want to go. But normally you have to understand that this energy is our creative energy. In Traditional Chinese Medicine, it’s allocated in the area that is called the Dantien, and it’s the center of and the flow of all the creative energy. So, all of the ideas (the creating, the force, the life force, the work force) comes from there, from the place between the belly button and your bone near the vagina. So, that part.

27:00

So, that energy, when you work a lot, is depleted. It’s this energy. Sexual energy is the gripping force energy of life. It’s not just sexual energy. Sexual is a word that we use, but it’s like a life force energy, and when you're not connected to life, you're not connected to sexual energy, and in the beginning of our conversation, we were talking about that. People don't even know what they eat yesterday. They are not connected to themselves. They are not connected to their surroundings. So, they are not connected to their body, to their energy. So, the sexual energy goes in and has to be cultivated.

So, one of the rituals that I talk about with my patients, and I talk about in my talks, and everything is to focus on their area and to put your hands there and to move your pelvis. You have to move it. Energy moves energy, and you have to move your energy, and you have to have time to do it. Otherwise you have to book it on your schedule because you don't have time. If you don't find time, you don't go, you don't do it. You have to take your hands like this, one above the other, and you have to put it on the thing. You have to breathe and make your belly move, and then you have to move your hips like circular movements just to have your Kundalini energy to get moving, and you have to do this every day for five minutes like a ritual, and then connect yourself.

28:28

You don't have to think of anything sexual because if you do it correctly and you do it every day, it will arrive just like this. In one week, you will feel it. It’s just that simple.

Amanda Testa: It’s so true. That’s what I think is so key about the practices is it’s the doing of the thing that gives you the result, and that is so hard for people.

Tâmara Castelo: Do it, do it, do it, do it, do it!

Amanda Testa: [Laughs]

Tâmara Castelo: It’s not like do it once.

Amanda Testa: Yes, I know!

Tâmara Castelo: “I know, I did it on Sunday!” And I said, “Yeah, man. This is Friday! Every day. Five minutes.”

Amanda Testa: Mm-hmm.

Tâmara Castelo: It’s like breathing. If you stop breathing, you’ll be dead by Friday. So, it’s the same.

Amanda Testa: Right!

29:04

Tâmara Castelo: You have to maintain the energy because it’s like a life force. You have to take care of it, and you have to move it. It’s difficult because people are not disciplined.

Amanda Testa: Yes.

Tâmara Castelo: But when they understand it, it’s just the first time it’s difficult. Then they’ll get there.

Amanda Testa: Mm-hmm. I think, like you say, it’s when they understand it, A, and then, too, when they get the effects, when they're getting the result and they're feeling good.

Tâmara Castelo: Yeah.

Amanda Testa: And they're like, “Oh, yes, I definitely want to do this!”

Tâmara Castelo: Right, “It’s there! Oh! I’m not dead,” they said to me.

Amanda Testa: Yes!

Tâmara Castelo: I say, “Of course you're not dead. You’re just not moving!” [Laughs] “You're not dead. Everything is there. You have all the potential inside of you.” “Oh, no, this is already dead, doctor,” they say to me. They say, “It’s not dead. There.”

Amanda Testa: Mm-hmm.

Tâmara Castelo: You have to touch it. You have to move it.

Amanda Testa: Activate it.

Tâmara Castelo: You have to want it. Yeah, it’s there, you just have to touch the buttons. Put on, and then do it every day just for five minutes. “I know you're there. Hi. Let’s move.” You don't have to do nothing. Just be aware. Be connected. It’s the connection, that’s the problem.

Amanda Testa: Yes, yes.

30:13

Tâmara Castelo: People don't find time just to call somebody they love. They don't find time to connect with themselves. It’s difficult. It’s complicated.

Amanda Testa: Yes.

Tâmara Castelo: A lot of people are talking about it, so eventually to come in. [Laughs]

Amanda Testa: Yes, and I think, too, it’s a good practice. That’s one of the reasons I started a pleasure membership is so a couple times a month you get together, you learn the practices, you do them together, then you can go home and do them on your own, right?

Tâmara Castelo: Yeah.

Amanda Testa: Because it’s so important. I love that so much. And it’s fun. Like you say, once you get the hang of them, once you learn them, once you do them for a while, then they just become part of your routine. You just do them when you don't think about it as much anymore, right?

Tâmara Castelo: Yeah, 21 days is all it takes to get a habit. So, I think it’s just like that, though. And then when you do it, it’s really cool. People are like, “Ah, you know!” I say, “Good for you!” [Laughs]

Amanda Testa: Yay!

31:08

Tâmara Castelo: “It’s good actually,” they say. “And I don't remember my breath, and I don't remember --,” and I said beautiful because it’s part of life, you know? And it’s a grip of life, and pleasure is really important in these times because it’s one of the tools that don't require medicine, that don't require nothing. It’s a natural antidepressant. It lowers cortisol, puts your blood flowing, lowers hypertension, gets your sleep better, allows your brain to think better. All of it’s important.

Amanda Testa: Yeah, I’m wondering, too, just speaking to one of the things that I’m curious about as well is you mention sleep quite a few times, and I know oftentimes that can be such a challenging thing, and I love the couple of rituals that you shared that you do at night, but I’m wondering if maybe there’s one more great ritual that you love to do to really enhance a good night’s sleep.

Tâmara Castelo: Yeah, they don't like my night rituals, people.

Amanda Testa: [Laughs]

Tâmara Castelo: Yeah, they don't like it. They don't like it because they don't like my time schedule at night, but I will share it, but they don't like it. [Laughs]

Amanda Testa: Yes, let’s hear.

32:13

Tâmara Castelo: So, it’s important. First thing: you have to be in bed early. So, early, let’s define it. If you wake up at 7:00 AM, you have to be at bed at least at 9:30. They don't like it because it’s early. If you want to sleep, you have to think of sleep like you're in a train station. So, if you get that train, the train of 9:30, you’ll get through until 7:00, and then if you don't get the train, the other trains are only at 1:00 AM, and the trains are always stopping. You know that train that’s always stopping in the -- yeah, so I say to patients, “Well, but you don't get yawning at any time?” “Oh, yeah, I get like 9:00. Oh, but at 9:00, I have a lot to do,” and I said, “Well, when you get yawning, your body is telling you, “Get to bed!” So you need a ritual for that. You just need to listen to your yawning.” Just like that.

33:14

But yawning aside, this is an important part because your body will tell you when they want to sleep, even if you disagree. Normally, it will tell you. You start yawning one time, yawning two times, and it was telling you, “Man, I’m tired. I need to go to bed,” and sometimes it’s 9:00. Sometimes it’s 9:15. Sometimes it’s 8:30. You don't like it, but sometimes it’s needed. It needs to sleep. Your brain needs to sleep, and it’s telling you, “I need to sleep, man! I need to sleep,” and you have to go to sleep. You have to respect your body. It’s the only body you have, so this is important.

Amanda Testa: Mm-hmm.

Tâmara Castelo: But if you’re missing that train, there are some things you can do. One of my favorite things in the world is soaking the feet in hot, hot water. It’s not the same as taking a bath. Please, the important thing is to make sure that one part of the body is more cold and another part of the body is more warm.

34:10

So, taking a shower is not the same thing. So, soaking your feet with really hot, hot water with a lot of salts (food salt, normal salt) with the music, lower the lights for about ten minutes, and breathe only through your nose (in and out, mouth closed). This will help you a lot, but you should take the first train. It’s more efficient.

Amanda Testa: I love that. Even while you were saying it, I was just visualizing myself. I love going to bed. I love it.

Tâmara Castelo: Me too! I yawn at 9:00, and I say to my kids, “I’m going. I’m yawning. I’m sorry.” “No, mama! I’m still doing this!” “Ciao! I’m going! I’m going!” I’m not losing my train, otherwise I don't sleep. So, sleep, for me, is my most sacred thing in the world.

Amanda Testa: Yes.

Tâmara Castelo: Like, I cannot -- nobody messes with my sleep.

Amanda Testa: I love that.

Tâmara Castelo: I’m terrible. Yeah, for me, it’s sacred.

35:05

Amanda Testa: I think that’s good to note, too, for the people listening who might have kids or might have other people in the family. How can you set that boundary that they will respect you doing what you need to do for yourself?

Tâmara Castelo: Oh! Oh, “No, ciao.”

Amanda Testa: Yeah.

Tâmara Castelo: Listen, I have two kids. My boyfriend has three kids. So, there are five kids. For me, it’s, “Ciao. I tried to put you to bed one hour ago. I tried. I tried to tell you the story, to put you to bed, to give you a good night’s sleep and kiss. You don't want it? Okay, so now I’m going to bed.” “No, mommy!” “Sorry, I love you. Mwah! Going,” and I go. I’m terrible. With my sleep, I’m terrible. I’m terrible because if I don't sleep, I’m aging bad, I’m doing a mass out of my brain, and I need to think because I’m a doctor, so I have a lot of people to do tomorrow and I have a lot of things to do.

Amanda Testa: Yes!

36:00

Tâmara Castelo: And I like being well in my brains. I like to think straight. I want to get my emotional health okay. I suffered from anxiety a lot, so I will not do it again. I’m okay. I do it once. I will not repeat it ever again, please. So, I maintain my health by sleeping a lot and respecting my boundaries. So, if my kids want a good mother, a good mother is a sleeping mother, not a non-sleeping mother. A non-sleeping mother is a mother that will yell, will not have the patience, will not have the tolerance, will not have the pleasure, will not be fun, will not be a laughing mother. I don't like to be that person.

Amanda Testa: Yeah.

Tâmara Castelo: So, sometimes to not be that person I have to set boundaries. They already know. So, they know -- actually they said to me, “Mommy it’s 9:00. Maybe I should go to bed.” I said, “Maybe you should go to bed. Yeah.” Now they learn. Even my dog is sleeping. He knows. He knows, man. He knows!

Amanda Testa: [Laughs] Yes, I love that.

Tâmara Castelo: So, it’s important for you to explain to the kids, “I need to sleep because I want to wake up tomorrow and be okay with myself and be good with my anxiety,” and they understand, and you have to sleep, you know? I explain to them a lot of stories. I do a lot of research for my book, and one of the research I did was about sleeping, in adolescence and with kids. I was telling to my eldest kid, I was telling her, “You know that they did a study that average of the grades of the people who sleep 2 more hours than the others were 35% more just by sleeping because the power of concentration, memorization was double, just by sleeping two hours more. That’s the difference between going to bed at 8:00 or going to bed at 10:00. It doesn't seem like much, but it’s the difference between entering medical school or no. It’s a difference from defining your future just by sleeping.”

Amanda Testa: Yeah, that’s pretty powerful.

Tâmara Castelo: So, it's crazy. Yeah!

Amanda Testa: [Laughs]

38:10

Tâmara Castelo: So, I explain that to them. No, I love my children, but I explain them, then, like I do to my patients, the implications. Then they understand, they do it normally. Actually my eldest sometimes tell me. She wakes up. “Ma,” and I will always take her to school, and she said to me, “Today I’m going to bed at 8:30,” and I said, “Why?” “Tomorrow I have my chemistry exam, so today I’m going to bed at 8:30 to sleep well, like 11 hours, like my brains will be perfect tomorrow.” So, she uses the hack, and it worked!

Amanda Testa: Uh-huh.

Tâmara Castelo: So, yeah, you have to explain to them, and then they like boundaries.

Amanda Testa: Yeah.

Tâmara Castelo: I love boundaries.

Amanda Testa: Yeah.

Tâmara Castelo: It’s an act of love.

Amanda Testa: Right, it’s so true. I think I remember reading some study about kids, and they did a study of the caregiver and the kids, and in one environment they were just in an open field, and they could just run and do whatever they want, but the kids tend to just stay close to the caregiver. And then, alternatively, when they were in a fenced park, the kids were all running around and doing their thing. [Laughs] They liked that little bit of boundary, right?

39:23

Tâmara Castelo: Boundary is important. It’s caring for oneself and for the other.

Amanda Testa: Yeah, and I think that’s an important thing to note because, especially with regards to our health and wellbeing, there are so many people that are just giving and giving and don’t set that boundary, and then they find themselves sick or ill or all the things.

Tâmara Castelo: Yeah, and then they are explaining to their kids by doing that that that’s normal, so they're perpetuating sickness, which is terrible. It’s terrible education.

Amanda Testa: Mm-hmm. Yeah.

Tâmara Castelo: Boundaries are important.

40:00

Amanda Testa: The key of boundaries, yes. Well, I’m wondering, too, I feel like I just love all your wisdom and you’re sharing such amazing, digestible tips that are so important. I’m wondering, too, maybe if there’s a question that you wished that I would have asked that I didn't ask or any other things that you feel are important to share?

Tâmara Castelo: No, I think it’s cool. For now I’m okay.

Amanda Testa: Yeah.

Tâmara Castelo: I think it’s cool. I think the main thing is maybe one thing, I think. For maintaining good health, I’m crazy about sleep. I’m crazy. I’m obsessed. So, sleeping is important. Eight hours don't work for everybody, so sometimes it’s 9. Sometimes it’s 9:30. It depends. You have to know yourself to understand. So, give time to know yourself, to understand how many hours you do need. That’s important. If you are an adult, you should know it by now. Know it. You have to know it. If you don't know it, you should take a weekend off just to see, “How do I feel with that 9 hours? How do I feel with 9:30? How do I feel with 8:30?” Just to see what’s your normal time.

41:08

The other thing that’s really important: take five minutes for yourself every day, please. That’s important to maintain health and maintain grounded and with yourself and with your purpose because lack of purpose is the main issue for depression. So, connection is important.

Amanda Testa: Thank you so much.

Tâmara Castelo: Thank you!

Amanda Testa: Yes, I’m wondering, too, if you can share with everyone where to connect with you and where they can find your book and all the good things.

Tâmara Castelo: Okay, so, in my website it’s www.tamara-castelo.com, and then Instagram: @tamara__castelo without any accents.

Amanda Testa: Yes, and I’ll also make sure to put everything in the show notes --

Tâmara Castelo: Thank you!

Amanda Testa: -- so that you can find it there.

Tâmara Castelo: Okay, thanks!

Amanda Testa: Thank you so much again for being here!

Tâmara Castelo: Thank you!

Amanda Testa: Thank you all for listening. We will see you next time!
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42:03

Thank you for listening to the Find Your Feminine Fire podcast! If you loved this episode, please go ahead and forward it right now to someone who you know would love it, and if you’ve not yet had a chance to leave us a rave review on Apple Podcasts, please make sure you rate and review if you enjoyed the podcast as well as make sure to subscribe so you never miss an episode. Thanks for listening, and we’ll see you next week!

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