JOIN IN THE DISCUSSION ON THIS EPISODE AND MORE IN MY FREE FACEBOOK GROUP, FIND YOUR FEMININE FIRE HERE.

Tracey Tee, creator and steward of Moms On Mushrooms, doesn't consider herself  a guru, influencer, life coach or healer. She is a lifelong student of spirituality, plant medicine and health, and comes to you as a humble teacher + guide who finds immense joy in being of service to moms.

Important links:

• Check out the Moms On Mushrooms Website: www.momsonmushrooms.com

• Follow Moms On Mushrooms on Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/momsonmushroomsofficial

• Sign up for the Moms On Mushrooms Course: https://momsonmushrooms.circle.so/c/microdosing-courses-for-moms/

• Sign up for the Moms On Mushrooms Community: https://momsonmushrooms.circle.so/c/monthly-membership/

• Get in touch with Tracey: https://www.momsonmushrooms.com/contact

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EPISODE 231: Tracey Tee

[Fun, Empowering Music] 

Amanda Testa: Hello, and welcome to the Find Your Feminine Fire podcast. I am your host, Amanda Testa. I am a sex, love, and relationship coach, and in this podcast, my guests and I talk sex, love, and relationships, and everything that lights you up from the inside out. Welcome!

Hello, and welcome to the Find Your Feminine Fire podcast. Maybe you are curious about microdosing. I know this is all the talk, and there’s a lot of great things about it and a lot of misinformation out there. So, today, I am super excited because I am going to be talking with a dear friend and amazing, amazing woman, Tracey Tee. Welcome, Tracey.

Tracey Tee: Thank you! Gosh.

Amanda Testa: Yes, Tracey is a master of many trades, but she is also the creator and steward of Moms On Mushrooms which is a course and community around psychedelics for moms and microdosing. We’re gonna talk all about this and questions that you may have and how, really, it could be a tool for really stepping into your best self and allowing that feminine fire in you to burn its brightest and fullest, and I think, in this day and age, we can all use all the help we can get.

0:01:13

And so, I’m really excited to share more about this. Thank you for being here, Tracey!

Tracey Tee: Ah, it’s always a pleasure, always a pleasure. [Laughs] 

Amanda Testa: Yes! One thing I love about you, Tracey, is that you just -- I love how you say, “I don't want to be the guru, I’m not looking to be this guru about microdosing,” but I know, from your own experience, you spent a lot of years studying and researching and trying different plant medicines and things of that nature. So I’d love it if you would just share a little bit, for everyone listening -- because you might have heard her on the podcast before in a previous iteration of amazing things that she’s done for moms. I would love for you to share a little bit more about this chapter of your life and why you're so passionate about it.

Tracey Tee: Yeah, no, it’s interesting. I guess it has been a couple years. It hasn’t been many years. I am definitely a 2020 awakener.

0:02:01

I was part of the group that just, not only got their butts kicked to the ground in 2020, my business Band of Mothers, we lost everything. We were a live entertainment company and had to cancel all of our shows when the lockdowns happened, and it was incredibly painful, traumatic, dramatic, financially devastating, and in that moment, I found a new part of myself that I didn't know existed and kind of embarked on a spiritual awakening for about a year with the help of some close friends that live in your neighborhood - Sarah Zeren, who became sort of my spiritual coach and dug me out of my depths.

Then, while I was sort of learning about this new aspect of myself while also trying to hold onto a business that just couldn't get back on its feet, while trying to be a mom, while trying to navigate the ridiculousness of COVID, I really felt the call to plant medicine.

0:03:05

I had felt the call for a long time. I had been interested in Ayahuasca. I’ve been interested in it for years, way before it became super trendy, but I never did drugs. I’ve never done any -- I don't actually like using the term drugs anymore, but we can get into that later. I hadn’t done anything before, and also, I had a little kid, and I just didn't think that flying off to the Amazonian jungle was a great idea for me to do a bunch of hallucinogens in the jungle. So I never tried Ayahuasca and then read the book How to Change Your Mind by Michael Pollan, and it kind of really solidified this inkling inside me that was, I think, mushrooms are calling me.

Then, I actually did -- I went out with a bunch of dear friends to a lake outside Boulder and had my first sort of recreational mushroom experience in the summer of -- I always get the time -- it must have been the summer of 2020, and I had told myself driving there that if I had a sort of deeper spiritual experience with this medicine, that I knew I was onto something, and I, in fact, did.

0:04:12

I had this beautiful evening of lying on the beach with other women, other moms, and I kind of just saw all the symbols ever created. I saw the grid over the earth. I saw the fourth dimension. I felt that wholeness and that connection, that divine beauty and really truly felt the presence of God. I just knew. I just knew the shrooms were for me but still didn't really know what to do with it. I didn't know. You can’t just be high on mushrooms all the time, so, eventually, a microdosing course came across my LinkedIn feed, of all places, and I felt very called to take it, and once I started microdosing, my whole life changed, everything changed, and it’s like everything just kind of came into alignment, and it was what helped carry me and hold me as we navigated the loss of our business and all of the after effects of COVID.

0:05:09

At the end of 2021 when we finally closed down our business, I had done a journey a few months prior, and it was shown to be very clearly that this is my path. As woo as it sounds, when the mushrooms speak, you tend to listen. It’s confusing at times, but some messages come in super clear, and so, when we ended up closing down Band of Mothers, I had kind of had this idea that I might start a course and tell other moms about this because during my whole microdosing experience, I really felt like this is just so different for moms. Same thing. The healing, you know, we can’t go do mushroom ceremonies every month or go off and do a retreat for ten days, nor can we spend two and a half hours doing all the things that we think we need to do to heal. I mean, healing for mothers happens in between soccer practice and doctor’s visits and school homework. It’s different.

0:06:03

It’s just different, and we have a different shared experience that  binds us together not only as women but when you combine that with medicine, it’s very powerful, and so, I just said, “Okay, I’m gonna talk to some moms and see if anyone wants to do this together in community, and the minute we closed down our company I sort of just vomited out -- that’s probably not a great word -- this course. I just wrote for, like, two weeks straight and started Moms On Mushrooms which came to me in meditation - MOM. I thought, well, if it’s not taken, then this was obviously meant for me because this is kind of brilliant. I had to come up with it.

Amanda Testa: Oh, that’s so good.

Tracey Tee: So Moms On Mushrooms was, in fact, not taken, and so, I took that as a sign from the universe that this is my path, and so, I’m here today, but, yeah, I don't want to be a guru. I think the time of gurus is over. What we’re moving into in this age of Aquarius is a time of community, togetherness, but if the time of the guru is over, the time of the lone wolf is over as well, and I don't think people should take this medicine in a vacuum.

0:07:08

And so, I think it’s really important for mothers, especially, to come together around this plant medicine, to heal, and to try to find a place as women and as mothers that feels like we’re also our best selves, and I think microdosing can do that.

Amanda Testa: I’m curious, too, for those out there who might not be familiar with the term microdosing, can you just explain what that is?

Tracey Tee: Yes, yes. So microdosing is taking a very, very, very, very, very small amount of Psilocybin -- well, I use Psilocybin. You can microdose many things. Some people even microdose cannabis. I work with Psilocybin which is the hallucinogenic or psychedelic component of Psilocybe-Cumbetsus which is the magic mushroom. So, in microdosing Psilocybin, you take, like, one-tenth of a gram or one-tenth of what’s the beginning of a larger dose, and the intention is that it’s completely perceptual.

0:08:03

You have no hallucinogenic or psychedelic effects happening within you. However, over time, the repeated use of a very small amount of a psychedelic starts to rewire our neural pathways in a positive manner so that we get the same effects as one typically gets when doing a large-dose journey.

Amanda Testa: Yeah, and I think that’s important to note because, as you mentioned earlier, especially for moms, you're busy. You're driving kids around, you’ve got a million things on your plate. So that is a concern that I know moms have, right?

Tracey Tee: Oh, 100%, yeah, and should be.

Amanda Testa: [Laughs]

Tracey Tee: No, it is a concern and it should be concerning. To be honest with you, I hear friends tell me, “Oh, I just talked to my girlfriend,” or I have people talk to me, “Oh, I’m just microdosing,” and there is a lot of misinformation out there.

Amanda Testa: Yeah.

Tracey Tee: In our American society where we’re just so programmed to think more is more and bigger is better, I hear all the time of people throwing back half a gram or these larger doses (which I would never consider a microdose) and saying, “Well, I don't know. I really felt funny all day long,” or, “I was crying a lot,” or, “I didn't feel like I could take care of my kids,” or, even worse, “Nothing happened,” because there was no intention behind it.

0:09:15

And so, it’s very important, to me, to teach about dosage, intention, safety, all those things because, of course, you want to be a mom, you want to be able to drive your kids to school and do all the things without ever being concerned about an altered state.

Amanda Testa: Yes, I think it’s so interesting. I just love -- because I think about all of my entheogenic experiences, and many were without any type of intention. It was always just, like, around going to concerts or being on Dead tour and all the things I used to do.

Tracey Tee: Which isn't a bad thing.

Amanda Testa: Because I guess there was some intention, right? [Laughs]

Tracey Tee: Yeah!

Amanda Testa: But, you know, there are so many myths out there or people aren’t maybe quite sure what that means, so I just kind of wanted to clarify.

Tracey Tee: Yes.

Amanda Testa: You know, as well, right, nothing’s a magic pill, but there are also benefits. So I’m curious why you feel like, just in your own experience and all the research that you have done and the groups that you’ve led, what are some of the reasons people typically come to you for support around this or to come to the medicine?

0:10:14

Tracey Tee: Absolutely. The commonalities are profound, frankly, in the theme that I’m seeing with mothers which is A, I -- so the number one most common thing is, “I’m on an antidepressant. It’s not working. It hasn’t been working for years, if not decades,” and/or “It’s making me crazy. I don't even feel like myself anymore, and I know there’s something better. Can microdosing help?” That's the first.

The second is very common which is, “Hormonally, I’m completely out of whack. There is a week to two weeks a month where I become a different person. I don't like my partner. I yell at my kids. My anxiety is through the roof. I’m reactive, and I don't want to live like this, and nothing helps. Can microdosing help?”

0:11:03

The third is, “I am completely overwhelmed with life. My anxiety is through the roof. I am sick and tired of yelling at my kids. I’m sick and tired of just existing and just going through the motions and being so busy I can't even see straight. Can microdosing help?”

Amanda Testa: I love it, and just one thing to note, a caveat, we are not doctors or medical professionals, here. We are not giving medical advice here, but, just so you know, just wanted to give that caveat. But, yeah, I do feel like it’s so true. Moms I know, especially, are struggling just in general, and just the world at large is struggling right now.

Tracey Tee: Yeah.

Amanda Testa: And so, I’m curious, too, the safety around this because that’s another question that I’m sure people will have. Like, how do I know that this is a safe thing to do, and then we’ll get into the next part which I think is so key - the community aspect. Just for people that are  like, “Is that safe? How do I know? Blah-dee-blah,” what can you say to people that might have that concern?

0:11:58

Tracey Tee: Sure, well, first of all, unfortunately, all of the dramatic research and data that was happening got shut down in the ‘50s and ‘60s by the government when LSD and Psilocybin sort of leaked out into what we now know is the Hippie Culture, and people started freeing their minds, and the powers that be didn't like it so they shut it all down. So we’ve had this prohibition for, like, 50 years where a lot of research that could have been profoundly helpful to many, many subsets of people has not happened.

That being said, a few key components about Psilocybin. It is not addictive. It is not an addictive substance like alcohol, caffeine, nicotine, sugar, any number of legal substances that we’re allowed to imbibe on with abandon. There have been no known deaths directly related to the use of Psilocybin. Now, we’ve all heard about the people that jump out of buildings and people that have psychotic breaks, and, yes, that has happened, but what is left out of that equation is, one, people who take massive amounts of Psilocybin which is a psychedelic and hallucinogenic drug and should be treated respectfully and carefully, but then mix it with any number of other substances that make you do any number of irrational and potentially mortal things.

0:13:21

Two, the whole notion of a bad trip and frying your brain, same thing. What we don't talk about is, is that combined with other things, and was that person held in a space that was safe to experience some of the darker aspects that can happen in a large-dose journey? That’s where set and setting and having a guide or a trained practitioner or a clinician come in when you use psychedelics past a certain amount, if you are not mentally capable of handling some of the very dark things that can happen in a journey, you absolutely can have a psychotic break, and if you don't integrate your journey after, your brain can’t handle the massive cosmic multidimensional messages that come through and experiences that you see.

0:14:09

If you don't have anyone to talk to about that and help you navigate that landscape and make sense of it, you're gonna have a hard time, and so, yes, there are side effects -- I don't even want to say side effects. There are reasons for concern, but most of them lie in the misuse of the medicine rather than the medicine itself. 

Amanda Testa: I’m curious, too, what are some of the benefits that you’ve noticed, personally, and then also that you see with the people that you work with?

Tracey Tee: Sure, I think my favorite way to describe why I love Psilocybin and microdosing in particular is two things. One, I like to say it gives me space between my thoughts. So I’m an Aries moon and rising -- or I don't know. I’m Aries. I’m all the Aries. I’m an Enneagram Eight. I’m a Manifesting Generator.

0:14:57

I’m like a walking cliche of bigness and type-A and reactivity, and microdosing, for me, allows the words that come and form very fast in my brain and usually shoot right out of my mouth -- it allows me to take just a second, kind of zoom out, open up my head, see the words forming and say, “That is not a good idea. Don’t say it like that. Take a minute and then push them out,” and that has changed everything for me. It’s allowed me to speak more clearly in terms of, even in business, certainly in my personal relationships, to be more grounded and to be more intentional and thoughtful with my words, and with my daughter. To listen, and to listen, not to react, but to listen to hear. That, in and of itself is a big gift.

The second part is dealing with your shadow, traumas, whatever you want to call it, ego, the things that keep us in this loop of up and down, sad and happy.

0:15:59

It takes those aspects, and it kind of puts it right in front of your face so you can’t not stare at it, and instead of it kind of getting swallowed back down, which is what SSRIs and even, in many ways, traditional talk like psychology tends to do where it doesn't actually get resolved, with microdosing and with Psilocybin, those issues come right up into your face. You look at them, they look at you, and then you just sort of collectively agree to let it go, and it just dissipates. It doesn't go back down. Now, that doesn't mean you’re not gonna have repeated issues and the onion layer isn't gonna keep peeling, but it’s kind of like if you've got a thing that’s bugging you and you deal with it, it really does go away. It doesn't keep coming up, and, for a million reasons, that is such a gift.

Then, you know, in terms of the things that we kind of commonly know about Psilocybin, I would say, focus, creativity, clarity, and I also want to say (because this is feminine fire) a much deeper sense for myself, my own sexuality, my own sensuality, my sacral chakra in general, being able to really look at, feel, and connect with my womb, which I have decades of trauma around.

0:17:19

Depending on the right dose, sex can be really great on mushrooms. I’m just saying. Like, really great. Like, seven orgasms great, but that’s just me.

Amanda Testa: Yes! [Laughs]

Tracey Tee: [Laughs]

Amanda Testa: Yeah, and I always like to bring different perspectives 'cause there are so many ways and lots of different paths to where you want to be, and it’s good to just educate yourself on what’s out there and find what excites you and what draws you in, right? I think there are just a lot of alternatives available out there, and if the things that you have been doing don’t seem to be working, it’s always a good idea to open up and be like how could I potentially look at a different perspective or try on something new? I think one of the things about psychedelics in general is they're just a different way to open your mind in new ways, I feel like.

0:18:05

Tracey Tee: [Yeah.

Amanda Testa: That is one of the things -- and back in the day before it was hip, when I was in my, you know, 25-years-ago experimenting, just realizing, like, yes, when you were doing certain things with certain people, there were different enlightenments that you would come upon, right? And so, you're like people that haven't had that experience, it’s hard for them to wrap their hands around it, but I do feel like what I, in my experience, have seen is it just opens the paths of possibility. It makes you see things differently. There is definitely a bigger perspective, and that is so key. Of course, yes, as with the patriarchy or any powers that be, when you are able to think for yourself or when you are able to know, “What am I feeling in my body? What’s happening here?” I can realize something wants to be emerged. Oftentimes, when we speak our minds and when we know what’s right, we might question things, right? That doesn't work well for the powers that want to keep us repressed.

Tracey Tee: No, nope. [Laughs]

0:19:00

Amanda Testa: Yeah, so it makes sense, right? These are things we don't often hear about.

Tracey Tee: Yeah, you're so right. I think, like, broadening your mind and thinking about things in a different way and being exposed to a different way of thinking is so powerful and magical, and it goes beyond just seeing a trippy TV show. It is so expansive, and then to be able to share that with other women, particularly, there’s so much power in it. I guess another thing while you were talking it made me realize is, and this, I suppose, has more to do with doing larger-dose journeys, but I wouldn't have gotten there if I didn't have a relationship with the plant medicine through microdosing is that I just don't have a lot of fear anymore. When you realize that you're so connected to the divine, to everyone else, to everything on this planet, and you realize the power that’s inside you in your soul and your heart and in your mind, it’s just kinda hard to get scared of things. When you realize death is just, like Ram Dass said, like taking off a tight shoe, you just can’t get that scared about many things, and you really just want to live in the moment.

0:20:08

It sounds, like, hard to believe that I just don't have a lot of fear, but I really don't. I mean, it really has just left me because I’ve seen what’s on the other side.

Amanda Testa: [Laughs] Lots of times, too, I think fear is often rooted in the unknown or things we are afraid to see.

Tracey Tee: Yeah.

Amanda Testa: I know you mentioned, oftentimes, there are aspects of ourselves that we don't want to see, the shadow sides we shove down, we find a million ways to numb or to not look at those things, but, truly, when you are able to be with those things and let your body move through what it needs to then, oftentimes, you can integrate those things. Sometimes you might need outside help, and that is perfectly wonderful, right?

Tracey Tee: Totally.

Amanda Testa: That’s what the beauty of -- we’re not meant to do things alone.

Tracey Tee: We have options, yeah!

Amanda Testa: That’s why I wanted to talk about the community aspect because, you know, truly, healing does happen in community. We’re meant to heal in community. We are meant to -- our brains are meant to just handle our community, right?

0:21:03

Not the whole tragedies of the entire world in our face all day every day, and so, it’s no wonder that we have this impending doom and the overwhelm because, often, even if you try to curate the things that you take in, there are just a lot of horrible things happening all the time. And so, when you are constantly exposed to that, then your body’s gonna react to that, right? So knowing that we were designed to just kind of deal with what was going on in our own communities -- we were designed to deal with the traumas in our own communities, and just to bring back that communal help and, like, what is needed in my community, how can I show up to make change here because that’s a big part of activism and showing up is, like, how can I make change? Oftentimes, there are a lot of people out there doing what needs to be done. It’s like finding the people and aligning yourself with what feels right but, you know, just knowing that it’s meant to be done -- we’re meant to be doing things together, not isolated, right? I think recovering from all the isolation of COVID is really hard. I have so many people I talk to all the time and clients who are just like, “Ugh, I just feel like I’m finally coming out of the cocoon.”

Tracey Tee: Yeah.

0:22:03

Amanda Testa: “I feel like I’m finally stepping back into the light and into the world again.” It’s truly about finding that alignment within yourself however you so choose to do it. So let’s talk about that community aspect of it for you and why that’s so important.

Tracey Tee: Yeah, it is. I mean, you really nailed a lot of the things. I mean, you're right. We’re not meant to hold all the pain of all the world of all the things happening at all the same time. There’s a lot of guilt associated when you feel sadness, as you should, which is perfectly normal. Then, it’s compounded by this bizarre frenetic energy -- and I’ll speak to American culture -- and it’s absolutely exacerbated by social media where you are supposed to outwardly express, not only outrage, but sympathy and sadness, and then you have to be outwardly doing something.

0:23:00

It’s too much, and the truth is so many of those people kind of acting outwardly aren’t healed in themselves anyway, and as mothers, I truly believe that just healing ourselves is gonna change the course of history. It’s gonna change everything, and I think a lot of women are finally learning that there’s a different way to raise our kids, that there’s a different way to show up as a mom, and that involves, like you said, coming back together, talking about it, releasing the competitiveness, releasing the judgment, releasing this drive, this sense that we have to be everything to all people at all times, and when we fix ourselves, and when we just focus on shining the light in our little circle, that light grows and grows and grows in a much more sustainable and actionable way than ranting and raving and posting any number of shitty things on social media will ever do.

0:24:04

I don't know how we got duped into believing this to be true, but I do think that as long as we keep that frenetic, divisive energy, and we keep yelling at each other and judging each other for, “You're not like me, and I’m not like you, and, therefore, you're wrong,” nothing’s ever gonna change. So bringing it back, quieting it down, quieting the narrative down and just looking inward and saying, “How can I show up as the best person that I can be today? How can I show love and compassion and kindness and generosity? How can I be my authentic self? How can I work with my highest self to just be of service on this earth?” Just doing that will change so many more things, and you don't learn that you can do that in safety, unless you have a community around you that says, “Look at what you're doing, and, yes, please do that. I need you to do that.” That’s a lot of the basis of Moms On Mushrooms.

0:25:00

That’s why, again, I’m not interested in it being around me. It’s about a community coming together and saying, “Okay, we’re all using this plant medicine for a million different ways, let’s talk about how it’s affecting us.” One mom has postpartum. One mom has depression. One mom is going through a divorce. One mom just lost her business. One mom has a sick kid, but we all have these throughlines, and then one mom doesn't like microdosing, and one mom is completely different, and one mom can’t figure it out. So let’s just talk about it together and figure it out together rather than looking to some outside source, some expert, some paper, some article to tell us what to do. Let’s trust our intuition. Let’s trust our divine feminine power and figure it out together. We’ve been healing each other for centuries, and we’ve lost our way. So I love the idea of just bringing moms back around those two central shared things and figuring it out, and that’s it.

Amanda Testa: Yeah.

0:26:00

Tracey Tee: The beautiful thing is I’ve spent a lot of time sort of being mad at technology, and then I thought this is still a gift.

Amanda Testa: Yeah. Yeah!

Tracey Tee: Like, it’s still an amazing thing. I mean, Zoom is amazing. We’re all sick of it, but it’s amazing, and so are our online platforms and so is social media if it’s used in its own -- if it’s used in the light, you know? So let’s utilize these amazing gifts, these technologies, and create our own, new communities that don't look like tribal centers around a hut. Let’s create 2022 communities, and I think we can do that. It’s very easy.

Amanda Testa: Yeah, that is the beautiful thing. I mean, I will say, I do love Zoom, and also, we get sick of it, right? You can only be looking at the computer for so long. However, it is such a gift to be able to connect with so many people all over the world.

Tracey Tee: Right.

Amanda Testa: The fact that I have clients all over the world and we can be together, it’s amazing to me, and I love that part of it, and also, yes, it can be one of those things that you have to use mindfully. Like, how can you use it in a way to feel connected? There are ways to feel connected, I think.

Tracey Tee: Yeah.

Amanda Testa: I’ve experienced it and I teach that all the time and hold groups on Zoom so I believe in Zoom, and also, yes, being in person is great, too, but however you can create that for yourself, it’s so important, right?

0:27:08

I do believe, too, it’s like remembering -- that’s what I love about, I think, a lot of the work that I do as well is it’s all around that sacred remembrance. You already know all of these things. The cultural conditioning and just the way the world is now has kind of made us forget all that we do know. And so, when you can kind of strip that away by whatever means necessary, then you can come back to yourself and start realizing -- trusting your own nudges, trusting the wisdom that you have within you and remembering and having it reflected back to you by your community that, yes, your messages that you're receiving are, in fact, wise. [Laughs]

Tracey Tee: Yeah!

Amanda Testa: You are, in fact, doing a shit ton every day, and, you know --

Tracey Tee: Yeah!

Amanda Testa: So many women I talk to are moms, caregivers, they're just listing all the things they do in a day like, “Oh, I got nothing done today.” I was like, “Just make a list of actually all that you did do today, and you'll be blown away because it’s a ton.” [Laughs]

Tracey Tee: Yeah.

Amanda Testa: Right? Usually it’s a ton.

0:28:00

Tracey Tee: Yeah, and then I talk to moms, and it’s like, “You know, this isn't working, and this isn't working, and I’m angry,” and I say, “You’ve got three kids under five. This was never gonna be sunshine and rainbows. Let’s just admit that you're in a hard space, but it’s not forever,” you know? Back to community and even online, if you find your soul sisters, if you find your core, find your group and you find safety in that, it actually makes you more apt to connect in real time, to go out actually into your own physical community, to walk out onto your street and to connect with people because you feel confident in who you are, and you don't have to prove anything anymore. So it makes you want to go out and find, in real life, those same people that you can connect with, and then that’s how we rebuild that sort of true, in-person community, and I think we can do it with the vortex of Zoom around it.

Amanda Testa: That is so true because I think it is (and I was actually just listening to a podcast earlier today about this) around, you know, it’s like finding that peace within you, not that there is peace outside because that is not true, but when there’s more peace within, then when you show up to the places where you’re doing the good work or being an activist or however you are, you're less burned out so you can actually affect change versus being so caught up in your own world where you feel like you're trapped and you're stuck and you can't do anything, right?

0:29:24

Tracey Tee: Yeah. Yeah.

Amanda Testa: Because that is a very common thing I hear with a lot of moms is that feeling of being trapped. Like, I have no time, I have no autonomy. My body is not my own. All the things that you feel when there’s people hanging on you all day and needing you for survival.

Tracey Tee: Yeah.

Amanda Testa: [Laughs] It’s challenging. We’re like, yeah, I can't even go to the bathroom, how the hell can I do anything else? I get that, right? But it’s, like you say, being in that community and realizing, yeah, our culture has pretty much (especially here in the US) set us up to have a really hard time when we have small children. There's not the support that we need. 

Tracey Tee: No, and, you know, they kind of want you to be unhappy. They want you to be miserable because if you are, then you feel like you have to have someone help you out all the time versus changing it on your own.

0:30:05

The other thing is, I mean, let’s be honest, here, we all feel like we have no time, but the truth is that we do. Part of my challenge when we take courses is I know unless you have, I’ll give you, five plus kids, I know you’ve got 20 minutes in the day, and that’s the damn truth. You’ve got 20 minutes to sit down, do a quick meditation, say a prayer, work with this medicine, write something in your journal, and give 20 minutes. I know you do because we all have a phone, and we all spend 20 minutes on our phone, and I don't know anyone that doesn't, or something else. It could be any number of things we do to distract ourselves, and I think part of it is getting real honest with each other and saying we’ve collectively numbed out and scrolled ourselves into oblivion for the last ten plus years, and we have to, like, defiantly take 20 minutes of our lives back, let alone an hour, and I do believe every mom has that, no matter how busy you think you are.

0:31:13

If you're that busy, then let’s look at why you're so busy. Can you reduce the activities? Can you say no to something so that you have time for yourself?

All of that comes in finding sovereignty and autonomy, not caring, not feeling fear. For me, I think the medicine really helps kind of bring that all to the surface.

Amanda Testa: Right. I think one thing, too, that a lot of us (because of our culture and how it’s all, like, very much production-oriented) have this sense of urgency all the time even when there’s not urgency.

Tracey Tee: Yes. Oh, my gosh. Totally!

Amanda Testa: Right?

Tracey Tee: Yes.

Amanda Testa: So, like, yeah, the sink’s full of dishes. That does not mean you have to clean them right this minute.

Tracey Tee: Right? [Laughs] 

Amanda Testa: Yes, there’s always laundry to be done. There’s not true urgency behind it. You aren't going to die if you don't clean the kitchen.

Tracey Tee: And it doesn't make you a bad person.

Amanda Testa: [Laughs]

0:32:02

Tracey Tee: It’s not a moral failing if you don't do the dishes right then. it’s not a moral failing if you don't answer that text right away, you know?

Amanda Testa: I’m the worst with texts. Sorry. Everyone that knows me knows I’m the worst. [Laughs]

Tracey Tee: It’s so funny, I’m growing to respect it, you know? Again, you're so right. It’s that instantaneous -- we have this instant connection with hundreds of people on a daily life, and I think Glennon Doyle wrote it in her book, like, who are you to think that just because you're thinking of me and have a question or a thought that you want to share right then, that I’m supposed to drop what I’m doing (which you don't know what it is, by the way) and start a conversation with you. [Laughs] It would never happen in real life, you know? We’ve got to let ourselves lean into that.

Amanda Testa: Mm-hmm, and I think, too, like you mentioned, with this creating time for what’s important to you is that we do have to sometimes get creative around that.

Tracey Tee: Yeah.

Amanda Testa: That requires community, often, too.

Tracey Tee: Yeah.

Amanda Testa: I think, oftentimes, for many people that I talk to, caregivers just have a hard time reaching out for help.

0:33:04

There is often help available, it’s just the asking and being open to receiving it that is the biggest challenge. 

Tracey Tee: It’s so true, and there are so many layers to that. It’s the receiving, 'cause we don't think that we’re worthy. We think we’re bad. We think they hate us, but it’s also control, allowing someone to maybe do things a little bit different than how you would prefer for a small amount of time, the insecurity around, “Well, if other people help me then I’m not gonna be viewed --,” let’s talk about mothers, “-- by my children as the primary. They're gonna look to someone else as the authority.” Then, just shadow from just not having any context or maybe any point of reference because of how you were raised of doing things different and just that programming, but it’s so hard. When did we decide that asking for help was a bad thing? It doesn't make any sense if you actually think about it.

Amanda Testa: Right, and not all communities are that way, but I know that it depends, right?

0:34:03

But I feel like that is just such a gift to be able to lean into community and ask for support and let yourself receive it and know that -- you know, sometimes, I think we also have that thought of, like, “Well, if I take something, then it means I’m gonna have to give something,” but, yes, in general, we’re always looking at that web. I love the visual of, like, if we are all on this web, there are some times where people have way more to give, and they're gonna give more and some people are gonna need to take more, and then when that person is full and has more to give, they’ll give more. So it’s not like it has to be, “Oh, well, Tracey took my kids to school today, so that means I need to bake her a cake or do something,” you know what I mean?

Tracey Tee: It’s true! That’s a two-way street, right?

Amanda Testa: Yeah. Right!

Tracey Tee: I’m taking this course, and the leader of the course said women have been divided amongst each other for centuries. Just as women we’ve been divided against each other, and we’ve had to manipulate ourselves to survive, right? We manipulate ourselves to be desirable to a man so that we can have fucking food and a place to sleep.

0:35:01

We manipulate ourselves in the workplace so that we get a promotion. We manipulate ourselves as mothers so that we’re viewed as being what society says is a good mom. We’re constantly shape-shifting and changing in the way we are. In that, we can't just be real with each other. So the pervasive sort of concern is I can't ask you for help and then I can't believe you when you say you're fine giving it, and that goes both ways.

Amanda Testa: Totally.

Tracey Tee: Because it’s possible that there’s conditioning on the other end that when you give help, you actually expect that cake, you know? You expect -- it’s that chalk mark on the wall, and we have to get to this place of (what’s talked about a lot in the psychedelic space) reciprocity, but in the core of that is just compassion and saying, “It’s just no big deal for me to take your kid to school,” full stop. We have to work on not expecting anything in return but also trusting ourselves to say, “Next time I need, I’m gonna ask without agenda or prejudice and just hope that the woman says yes,” you know? It’s a complete unlearning.

0:36:08

Amanda Testa: Totally. So, now, I know you have, often, different courses and things happening in your community. Tell everyone a little bit more about where they can find out more about Momas On Mushrooms and what you have upcoming. 

Tracey Tee: Yeah, thank you. So, yeah, if you go to momsonmushrooms.com, you’ll kind of see everything that’s available, but the really cool thing that just launched in August is I created a community platform that has everything in one place. So think about it kind of like, kind of like Facebook for Moms On Shrooms, and there’s different levels that you can join. So if you're just Psilo-curious, and you're not ready to commit or you want to learn more and you're kind of circling the waters but you want to feel like you're in a place that has good information and you're not just following #psilocybin on Instagram (which is a terrible idea), you can join my monthly membership. It’s $4 a month, and you get access to my Resource Garden which is just sort of a continuously updated database of information from, you know, “Listen to this podcast,” and “Read this book,” or, “Read this scientific paper that came out,” all through the lens of motherhood.

0:37:16

So what I think would relate back to you. You can upgrade it to $7, and then you get access to our Video Garden, and I’m continuously doing interviews with experts in this space, way wiser than me, on specific issues that I see come up in the courses so that we’re really addressing what moms are coming to the table with in terms -- with a psychedelic lens. So that’s a really great way to start if you don't even know where to start.

The second, the main part of Moms On Mushrooms is the digital courses. There are three courses. They're all three months each - nine months. My thought is that it really does take time to get to know this medicine, so Course Dot One is where everyone would start, and it’s a beautiful gathering. You're in a small cohort. We meet every other week for 90 minutes, and then there's information online that you can sort of take as you want.

0:38:06

There are six lessons. They all follow the chakras, actually, which was way more woo than I ever wanted it to be, but we use the chakras as a roadmap so that we focus on one aspect of ourselves for two weeks at a time. I would say 20 minutes or less is needed of weekly activity to kind of really work with the medicine. That's a great way to work with the medicine in community. We’ve got some new courses signing up in September.

Then, if group work isn't your thing, and there’s a bunch of different reasons why people don't want to do group work, and I totally honor that, there’s a self-guided option. There’s a one-on-one option where you work with me, and we go even deeper. We do a weekly ritual together over Zoom or FaceTime where we really set the intention for the week and work with the medicine in more of a ceremonial aspect, and it’s just a much more intimate journey over three months.

Then, the really fun thing you could do is called Circle of Friends which is if you've got a group of soul sisters that all want to take the course together and stay together, you can book a whole course just with your girlfriends.

0:39:07

Amanda Testa: Great, well, I’ll also make sure to put all of this in the show notes, where you can find all this goodness - momsonmushrooms.com. Also, I’m wondering is there any question that you wished I would have asked that I didn't ask or anything that we didn't get to talk about that you want to make sure to share?

Tracey Tee: You know, I think just to drive home the fact that I don't ever want anyone to think that Psilocybin or microdosing or any of these psychedelics that are coming online and getting so much press right now is an ultimate magic pill. All of them take work, and I would just encourage you, if you're feeling called to it, whether it’s Ayahuasca or LSD or DMT or any of these things that you're probably reading about, do your research, go into it with intention, and give yourself time and space to study the medicine and the information around the medicine, and none of it is gonna have a profound effect on you if you don't work along with it, too. I mean, the cliche “do the work” really, really applies here when it comes to medicine.

0:40:02

For my course with microdosing, intention and having a respect for the sacredness and the holiness of this ancient medicine is paramount for it working its magic, and so, this is not something you just get in a brown bottle from Walgreens. It’s much more magical, much stronger, much more potent, but it needs you to show up too.

Amanda Testa: Yes. Love that.

Tracey Tee: [Laughs]

Amanda Testa: Thank you so much, Tracey, again, for being here, and, again, for everyone who wants to learn more, you can go to momsonmushrooms.com, and thank you all for listening, and we will look forward to seeing you next week.

Tracey Tee: Thank you.

[Fun, Empowering Music] 

Amanda Testa: Thank you so much for listening to the Find Your Feminine Fire podcast. This is your host, Amanda Testa, and if you have felt a calling while listening to this podcast to take this work to a deeper level, this is your golden invitation. I invite you to reach out.

0:41:00

You can contact me at amandatesta.com/activate, and we can have a heart-to-heart to discuss more about how this work can transform your life. You can also join us on Facebook in the Find Your Feminine Fire group, and if you’ve enjoyed this podcast, please share with your friends. Go to iTunes and give me a five-star rating and a raving review so I can connect with other amazing listeners like yourself.

Thank you so much for being a part of the community.

[Fun, Empowering Music]

*This podcast is provided for educational and informational purposes only and does not constitute providing medical advice or professional services. The information provided should not be used for diagnosing or treating a health problem or disease, and those seeking personal medical advice should consult with a licensed physician. Always seek the advice of your doctor or other qualified health provider regarding a medical condition. 

Psychedelics and sacred plant medicines are not for everyone.  As a psychedelic advocate and educator, Tracey Tee is not promoting the mindless use or consumption of any sacred plant medicines."